A woman telling a friend to keep the necklace her husband gave to her Sparks debate

Debate erupted online after a woman told her friend she could keep the necklace her husband gave her.

Posted on Reddit’s r/AmITeA**hole forum, a woman under the username u/pluto902 shared her story to get feedback from the “AITA” community. The viral post has over 6,000 upvotes and 2,000 comments.

“My friend didn’t have a necklace to match her dress, so I offered her one of mine,” the op began, “she kept telling me how much she loved the necklace, so I told her she could keep it.” as I never wear it I gave her the necklace 4 months ago but she recently wore it to another party and my sister in law mentioned I had a necklace that looked exactly like it. My friend told her I gave it to her and my sister in law commented on how nice of me it was.”

Woman gives necklace to friend
Above, a woman wears a necklace. Posted on Reddit’s r/AmITeA**hole forum, a woman who gave her friend a necklace her husband gave to spark their online debate.
nicoletaionescu/iStock/Getty Images Plus

She thought she heard the end of it, but her sister-in-law ended up telling the OP’s husband about it. He “demanded” that she get the necklace back, and if she didn’t do it within a week, he would take matters into his own hands and get it back himself. She argued that she didn’t know what the big deal was and didn’t understand why people were mad at her.

In the comments, the OP confirmed that this is not an heirloom but a gift from her husband and she didn’t realize how much it cost him.

news week asked u/pluto902 for a comment.

Giving etiquette

Have you ever thought about what to give someone? According to allgiftsconsidered.com, here are some etiquette rules for gift giving:

  • If you get a gift for someone, don’t do it for you.
  • Keep this person’s interests and hobbies in mind as this could help you find the perfect gift.
  • Get the person a gift they can consume, including chocolate or a bottle of their favorite wine.
  • Stay away from “self-improvement” gifts, including how-to guides and diet books.
  • Instead of giving them a physical gift, treat them to coffee or lunch.
  • When you give someone a gift, don’t expect anything in return.
  • Stay within budget when shopping for gifts.

news week has published several articles about conflict in a relationship, including how a woman was asked to leave her relationship after paying for every meal, how the internet supports a woman’s relationship with her brother’s ex and a man who supports it has been criticized for taking his partner’s credit card and won’t return it.

Redditor answer

U/TheAshenDemon4 wrote and received the top comment from over 12,000 upvotes: “[You’re the a**hole]even if you say this wasn’t a family heirloom, it was clearly something precious to HIM that he gave to YOU ​​and probably quite expensive, and handing it over to your friend without even informing him first (four months and it’s clear that you had no intention of telling him because your friend did) was insensitive.

“You had every right to give it as a gift, I’ll admit that, but it’s really not cool to give your partner’s gifts that probably had a lot of effort and meaning on their part without even saying anything,” the commenter continued.

“[You’re the a**hole]. I would also be upset if I saw anyone wearing the necklace I gave you. It is a great insult to the recipient. It means you don’t appreciate their gift. You could have just bought something similar for your friend,” exclaimed u/Momo-kkun.

U/Vast-Perspective-236 commented: “[Not the a**hole]. If he gives her jewelry frequently, it wasn’t family related, it wasn’t a celebration of a big event, and she clearly doesn’t wear it often…what, are you upset that it’s no longer in her jewelry box? ? I would like to know what makes this necklace so distinctive. Also, is he wasteful with his money if he frequently gives gifts? If she doesn’t enjoy the frequent gifts of jewelry, surely the time and effort and money channeled in this way can be redirected to things she values ​​more?”

“[Not the a**hole]. Giving you an ultimatum about how long you have to get the necklace back before he does anything about it himself is a big red flag to me. It doesn’t sound like it was about a gift or that your husband was hurt because you gave it away. That sounds like a control problem. Getting a piece of jewelry back is more important to him than knowing why you didn’t care in the first place. He doesn’t care about the repercussions of taking it back from the friend. He doesn’t sound like giving you any jewelry at all,” u/ToadseyeGem pointed out.

https://www.newsweek.com/woman-telling-friend-keep-necklace-her-husband-gave-her-sparks-debate-1744731 A woman telling a friend to keep the necklace her husband gave to her Sparks debate

Rick Schindler

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