Anger as mum wants to take dog back weeks after adoption: ‘Can’t finish’

The internet vented anger at a woman who wanted to give up her newly adopted dog in a viral post this week.

Speaking to London-based talk site Mumsnet, user amberstonelove shared how she was considering giving up a dog the family recently adopted because of her behavior.

The mother-of-two explained: “I’ve wanted a dog since my eldest developed a great interest and love for dogs. I thought it would be nice for the kids. That was it.”

She adopted a 2-year-old dog and admitted it was mainly to avoid toilet training and the puppy phase. But a few weeks later, the mother was on the verge of despair and considered giving the French bulldog a new home.

Sad french bulldog on bench
A file photo of a french bulldog sitting alone on a bench. The internet has urged a mother to try again before giving up her newly adopted pup.
ekaterina/Getty Images

“I feel like the previous owners covered up a lot of things. They didn’t tell us she was in season when we drove miles to get her, they forgot to tell us she only eats a certain brand of subscription food otherwise she likes to vomit crazy. She has promised and promised that she is toilet trained. It’s not her,” she said.

Sharing her problem online, the mother said, “It is driving me nuts. I have health anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder and this dog that I love and the kids too but it makes me sick. My anxiety levels are sky high and I’m throwing up as a result and I’m in tears every day.”

Award-winning dog trainer Niki French tells news week: “Adopting a dog or puppy of any age or background is a huge commitment. It can also be very stressful for us humans, and that’s something your friends and family might not understand. And it can take months for dogs to settle into a new home. I really empathize with the stress and conflict this busy mom is going through.

“With anything that’s going on I would recommend a vet visit to see if there are any underlying medical issues causing the toileting and vomiting. Traveling and moving to a new home is very stressful for dogs and the dog may feel anxious or overwhelmed and afraid to go to the bathroom in the yard immediately.”

French explained that even fully toilet-trained dogs can sometimes have “accidents” when they can’t hold it or are struggling with new environments.

But the mother expressed her distress since bringing the new family member into her life: “I feel like I’ve ruined our family dynamic, even though the kids adore them. A, but I feel like I’m stuck with her now because I can. I can’t bear the thought of breaking the hearts of my children – they are three and eight.

“I feel so down about all of this. I deeply regret getting them,” she added.

In hundreds of comments under the post, Mumsnet users rushed to offer advice and support for the new pet owner.

“Did you have professional help?” asked a response, while another commenter reiterated, “Talk to a professional trainer.”

Meanwhile, others shared similar stories. “We rescued a 2 year old dog four months ago. “Consistency is key.”

Other responses showed limited sympathy for the woman, saying she simply had to try harder to resolve the issues.

“I have limited sympathy for you as it sounds like you got them from a loved one or someone similar rather than a reputable rescue. I feel so sorry for your poor dog who is desperate to do the right thing but keeps getting it wrong because you don’t make it clear what is expected of her,” said one reply.

Another Mumsnet user said: “I don’t think you can get rid of them, a pet is a commitment. It’s not fair to resell them [it is] It’s unreasonable to unload onto an ambulance because you don’t want to deal with dog poop.”

“If you can’t deal with things like that, you can’t have a dog,” said another Mumsnet user in response to the mom’s dilemma.

“Dogs are always a big commitment,” French said. “I don’t want people to think that giving a dog a new home is a bad idea. My own dog is a rescue, and yes, it was hard work in the beginning. But even if you get a puppy from a wonderful breeder, it’s still a lot of work for the new keepers and there are no guarantees of a dog’s exact temperament and personality from any background. Time and patience work wonders.”

news week could not verify the details of the case. Anger as mum wants to take dog back weeks after adoption: ‘Can’t finish’

Rick Schindler

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