Cat dad torn for suggesting pregnant wife move out

Members of a popular internet forum were stunned after a father-to-be explained the tensions surrounding his pregnant wife and 16-year-old cat.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITeA**hole, Redditor u/aitapwaway (aka the original poster or OP) said his wife, who is six months pregnant, recently developed an allergy to cats, and revealed the interesting compromise he came up with as a result.

Captioned: “[Am I the a**hole] for me and my pregnant wife moving in with her parents instead of giving my cat a new home?” The post received nearly 4,000 votes and 2,000 comments in the last day.

Beginning by explaining that he has known his wife for seven years and that the couple have been married for four years, the original poster said his cat has been with him for almost two decades.

“I have an indoor only cat that I raised from a kitten to his current age of 16,” the OP wrote. “My wife and I are the only people he has been with on a regular basis.”

However, despite their familiarity with the cat, the original poster said his wife had recently become allergic and had asked for the 16-year-old cat to be placed in a new home – much to his dismay.

“My wife wants me to give my cat a new home,” the OP wrote. “I don’t want to do that – he’s old, he only knows me and my wife, he only knows our home, he hasn’t been around other people or animals.

“I think it’s going to be very stressful for him and at that age it might just kill him,” OP added.

In an attempt to resolve this difficult situation, the original poster said he had proposed a compromise: move in with his in-laws and allow the cat to continue living in the couple’s home.

“We can stay with her parents (who live 10 minutes away and have no problem with us taking the guest room) until the baby is born, and then if allergies persist for her or the baby I can ( very carefully) taking care of finding my cat a permanent new home,” OP wrote. “I would check on my cat any day.”

“My wife called me a huge asshole for putting my cat before her and the baby’s health,” OP continued. “I just don’t want to traumatize my cat about something that might be temporary.”

While about 10 percent of the US population suffers from common pet allergies, cat allergies are twice as common as dog allergies, according to WebMD.

Although millions of Americans are allergic to cats, not all allergies appear in childhood or even early life.

MedicineNet, an online publisher of health media, reports that people can develop allergies at any point in their lives, and in particular that people often develop allergies to cats later in life because of repeated exposure to allergens found in fur, dander, saliva, etc .

During pregnancy, many women develop several new allergies, but in some cases, these allergies subside over time.

However, Oklahoma Otolaryngology Associates maintains that to ensure the full health of both mother and child, exposure to known allergy triggers should be limited and, if possible, prevented altogether.

Pregnant woman arguing with husband
Members of Reddit’s r/AmITeA**hole blamed a man for apparently putting his 16-year-old cat before his pregnant wife.
takasuu/iStock/Getty Images Plus

In thousands of comments on the viral Reddit post, Redditors pointed out the potential dangers of keeping a cat around an expectant mother with allergies and called out the original poster for seemingly prioritizing his pet over his wife.

“Tough call,” wrote Redditor u/ThinkCow83 in the top comment of the post, which garnered more than 11,000 votes.

“New girl vs cat? cat wins. Fiancé wants to move in against cat? cat wins. wife with whom one lived happily [the] cat and is now pregnant with your child and has become allergic? … Nobody wins,” they continued. “You decide that the cat can stay and everyone else goes? Strange.”

“This isn’t a compromise,” interjected Redditor u/plscallmeRain. “Throwing your wife out of the house when she’s six months pregnant is really, really not something you want to do if you value your relationship at all.”

Redditor u/Special-Attitude-242, whose comment received almost 3,500 votes, responded similarly, suggesting an alternative solution to the original poster’s puzzle.

“Look, I know it’s hard making provisions for an older cat… but you’re about to become a father and that means sacrifice,” they wrote. “Would your in-laws be willing to take the cat? You could do all the work and he’d be close to home.”

“Your wife’s well-being is your top priority,” they assured.

In a separate comment, which has nearly 3,000 votes, Redditor u/Cheap-Explorer-9711 offered a humorous perspective on the situation.

“If I am reborn as an animal,” they wrote. “I want to come back as this guy’s cat.”

news week asked u/aitapwaway for a comment. Cat dad torn for suggesting pregnant wife move out

Rick Schindler

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