In a now-viral post, a man said he and his girlfriend recently got into a three-day argument over a $120 wine glass.
The man posted on Reddit’s “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) forum under a disposable account and asked, “AITA because you asked my girlfriend to pay for the wine glass she broke?” The post did Received 8,400 upvotes and thousands of comments questioning the state of the couple’s relationship. Now the couple could be on the verge of separation.
Why couples fight
According to New York City-based relationship expert and love coach Susan Winter, the way a couple fight and what they fight about changes after they move in together. Speaking to Elite Daily, she said disputes between living couples tend to be “more intense” and often arise over smaller things.
“You’re living with your partner now, so everything is more intense since ‘running away’ isn’t an option if he’s irritating you,” Winter said. “Being close to each other can increase irritation and encourage arguments about nonsensical topics.”
Counselor Jonathan Bennett also told Bustle that many “post-movement problems” stem from realizing that a couple isn’t as compatible as they once thought they were.
“Even couples who spend a lot of time together still don’t face the challenges of living under one roof,” Bennett said. “It requires at least some pooling of finances and some reliance on the other (e.g. to pay part of the bills). Many couples who have been happy living independently find that when they move in together, they just don’t fit together that way.”
After a series of fights after moving in, culminating in the recent row over the wine glass, the man posting on Reddit thinks it might be time for him to reconsider things with his girlfriend Trish.
In his post, the man said he and Trish moved in together just over a year ago.
“When we initially decided to move in together, we decided to split all expenses based on our 60/40 joint income split (I earn 60 percent of our gross monthly income, she 40 percent),” he said.
A few days ago, Trish broke his $120 wine glass while she was cleaning. When Trish confronted her boyfriend about it, he asked her to refund him the glass in full, but she didn’t think it was fair.
“When she told me she had broken the glass by accident…we had a three-day discussion (you could classify it as an argument…) about how it would be replaced and who would pay. After all the talking, she finally (she says) gave in and gave me 40 percent of the cost of replacing the glass,” he wrote.
“After the initial agreement, Trish has now said she is not comfortable with the agreement and wants me to give her the money back. Her rationale is that (A) it was a complete accident and (B) she would never want to buy wine glasses that expensive ever again,” he continued.
Of course, he thought the arrangement was perfectly fair.
Unsure what to do or who to blame, the man asked Reddit to comment, and while some commenters said he was right, many sided with Trish.
“JTA [you’re the a**hole]. Nickel and Diming don’t make a successful relationship that way. This was an accident. If she had any of that on purpose, I could see her asking for a refund, but that’s how you treat a roommate, not a friend,” said u/keesouth.
“YTA. I can’t tell you how lucky I am not to be in this relationship. You spent three DAYS talking about this? Just imagine how excruciating a real problem will be,” wrote u/RMSQM.
In response to a commenter who called the man for charging his girlfriend for “dishes,” u/Not-A-SoggyBagel said, “Yeah, it’s crazy. It’s just dishes. And he argued with her about it for three whole days. Because of a mistake.”
With that in mind, some commenters argued that the relationship as a whole didn’t sound all that stable.
Redditor u/IIILordDunbar asked, “You two fought over a broken glass for three days? Has it occurred to you that this isn’t a great relationship?”
After reading the Redditors’ comments, the man said he returned Trisha’s money. But now he’s questioning their entire relationship.
“Thank you to the commenters who shared gentle and thoughtful wisdom on what they think may be more of the root cause of this dispute. I don’t think we’ve been in a good place for long. And asking her for money was never about control. I wanted her to take personal responsibility because I would have,” he wrote.
“I also agree with the people who have commented on the dispute over three days. It’s exhausting for both of us. Life is too short. We have little fights like this all the time and it takes time for both of us to finish it,” he concluded.
news week asked the man for a comment.
Other viral moments
On Tuesday, Redditors blasted a man who swapped locks on his home behind his wife’s back.
Last week, commenters supported a woman who didn’t tell her boyfriend that she speaks American Sign Language.
And in mid-August, commentators applauded a woman who kicked her husband out of the delivery room for messing with his phone.
https://www.newsweek.com/couple-verge-breakup-over-120-dollar-wine-glass-its-nuts-viral-reddit-1738303 Couple on verge of breakup $120 wine glass: ‘It’s crazy’