Dad threatens to expose son over hygiene, backs: ‘I gagged’

A father has been supported for threatening to expose his son over his bad hygiene habits.

In a viral Reddit post with more than 28,000 upvotes, user u/Normal_Suggestion276 shared the dilemma he was having with his 14-year-old son’s hygiene.

He had taken over the laundry service with his wife, who normally does the housework when she is sick, but was shocked by what he found.

“The first day I did laundry, I gagged and almost threw up on his underwear,” the father said. “If he were three and not fully potty trained, maybe I would understand how they ended up like this. But he is a healthy young man. He shouldn’t leave his ass unwiped like that.”

Speaking to his son about the problem, the teenager agreed that he would strive to do a better job. But unfortunately nothing has changed.

“No change to the situation. So I went to the hardware store and installed a wand bidet in the bathroom he uses,” the poster said. “We already have one in ours. I told him he had the choice of using the bidet or washing his own underwear.”

But the son said he didn’t know how to use the washing machine and refused to hand wash, so he just started commanding instead – meaning the problem just shifted to his jeans.

When nothing had changed despite his best efforts, the father decided he had to act.

“I said maybe we need to take him to the doctor to see what’s wrong with him. If it’s physical or mental. I also said that the next time his friends come over I’ll ask them if they left their underwear in the same condition,” the father said.

He made it clear that he would never embarrass him like that in front of his friends, but efforts to get through to his son didn’t go down well.

“He said I was an asshole and he called his mother to tell her what I was doing. She said he was just like that and I could deal with it until she got better,” he explained. “I don’t think that’s a great plan. If that kid never learns to wipe their butt, they won’t have a sex partner without a poop fetish.”

Clinical psychologist Gemma Harris narrates news week: “It is important to put these behaviors in context as they can point to a deeper problem. Therefore, the solution may not lie in addressing the hygiene issue, but rather in that the underlying problem is specific to a behavior or represents a more general problem. For example, do they have attentional and sequencing difficulties in other areas that could explain why they forget hygiene routines? It’s common for younger children to be so occupied with another activity that they forget to do things.

“In teenagers, poor hygiene can be linked to worsening mental health issues such as depression, and so it’s worth looking for other behaviors that may indicate a broader mental health problem.”

In over 5,000 comments on Reddit, users sided with the father and said his actions were justified.

One commenter said: “14 is a little late in life to be learning how to clean your butt after using the bathroom. Your wife is doing him a disservice by allowing and spoiling this behavior.”

“Clearly, this is a biohazard and it is unacceptable. I would put it like this. Both for your wife and for your son. There can literally be health complications,” said another reply. “Tell your son straight up: This isn’t like cleaning your room or taking out the trash. It’s not a chore. It’s a non-negotiable imperative for your health, and that you and his mother are sorry you didn’t do it sooner.”

Poor hygiene is conspicuous behavior, and as a result, Harris suggested that it might even be part of more attention-seeking behavior.

“We often associate [poor hygiene habits] with the intention of getting a reaction. Based on this, we wonder why this person might be trying to get noticed and what they are trying to get from others? Does it get more attention – even if it’s negative – or are they trying to push people away for some reason? Are they trying to convey a feeling that’s hard to name?”

In a later reply, the father explained that the family booked a doctor’s appointment to ensure any underlying issues were addressed.

“There are bigger problems here,” said another answer. “He sounds like a baby. He should be able to use the washing machine by the age of 14 and certainly know how to mop and maintain properly whether he’s clean or not.”

Meanwhile, Harris suggested that parents do a little more research into other possible reasons for the poor hygiene.

“Because of the likelihood that poor hygiene is just a symptom of something else, I would advise parents to focus first on getting a good picture of what’s going on in their teen’s life and to look for school, peer, family and psychological problems. ” She said. “There may also be certain beliefs about hygiene that are worth exploring. When talking about hygiene, try to be gentle and compassionate, with a solution-oriented mindset, and essentially avoid shame and finger pointing.”

news week asked u/Normal_Suggestion276 for a comment. We have not been able to verify the details of this case.

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