Father defends himself for refusing to pay for daughter’s fourth wedding: ‘A waste’
Members of a popular internet forum rallied behind a father who is refusing to finance his daughter’s fourth wedding.
In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITeA******, Redditor u/ComprehensiveNet1149 (aka the original poster or OP) said he paid for the 32-year-old’s first three weddings — and made it clear he has no intention of doing it again.
Captioned: “[Am I the a******] for telling my daughter I will do it [not] help her with her next wedding?” the post has received almost 8,000 upvotes and 2,000 comments in the last 12 hours.
Beginning with the revelation that his daughter has been “divorced three times already,” the original poster detailed his contributions to each wedding and lamented the varying lengths of each marriage.
“She married the love of her life at 25. I gave her $15,000 to help with the wedding,” the OP wrote. “She married the love of her life when she was 30. I gave her $5,000.
“She married the guy who got her pregnant when she was married [number] two,” OP continued. “They divorced before my grandson was one.”
He went on to explain that his daughter had once again met “the love of her life” and said, to his dismay, he had been asked to contribute money towards another wedding ceremony.
“I said I would [not] help her next one,” OP wrote. “Now she cries to her mother and calls me an ass for not believing in her future.
“I managed to stay married for 33 years. It’s not that difficult,” OP added. “My wife wants me to make peace by giving her some money. But I think that’s a waste.”
Weddings, big or small, are an opportunity to celebrate the love and unity between two partners and two families.
Weddings are also expensive — so much so that 90 percent of couples put other financial priorities aside in order to afford the perfect celebration, according to the 2021 Weddings & Money Study, conducted in partnership with Brides and Investopedia.
While the average US wedding budget was about $20,000 in 2021, married couples contributed an average of $7,250 in cash savings before turning to investments, credit cards, and family members for additional support.
“Ultimately, weddings are paid for in different ways, and there isn’t one way that the bill is split,” said Gabriella Rello Duffy, editor of Brides news week.
“Some have one or both families split the bill, while others have the couple pay themselves,” Duffy added. “It’s common these days for couples to receive some contribution from one or both families and then pay for the rest of the wedding themselves.”
Despite the widespread expectation of family help, there are often limits to the options available to relatives.
And throughout the comments section of the viral Reddit post, many Redditors reassured the original poster that he’d already provided more than enough to not feel compelled to fund his daughter’s fourth wedding.
“Was your comment callous? A little, but that doesn’t make it untrue,” wrote Redditor u/grid101 in the top comment of the post, which received more than 14,000 upvotes.
“$20,000 over three weddings is fine,” they added. “She can now pay her own way.”
Redditor u/g3l33m, whose comment received almost 3,000 upvotes, echoed this opinion.
“Sounds like your daughter thinks you’re an ATM,” they remarked. “Tell her to elope next time… and the time after that.”
“She’s better off getting married in court… and throwing a big renewal ceremony FOR HERSELF if she makes it to 10 [years]added Redditor u/pepperann007. “She’s clearly just in love with the idea of love.”
“They’ve already paid for two weddings and she’s now growing up with her own kids,” chipped in Redditor u/vercingetafix, receiving nearly 2,000 upvotes. “If she wants to get married again, this time she can foot the bill.”
news week contacted u/ComprehensiveNet1149 for comment. We have not been able to verify the details of the case.
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https://www.newsweek.com/dad-defended-refusing-pay-daughters-fourth-wedding-waste-1760814 Father defends himself for refusing to pay for daughter’s fourth wedding: ‘A waste’