GREG GUTFELD: Have we reached trans climax yet?

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Happy Trans Tuesday everyone. Yes, we were going to serve tacos, but then they turned into hot dogs. Have you seen the latest news? The goal is to do whatever it takes to keep the eggs inside. The retail giant is now selling women’s swimsuits that are tuckable for ladies with penises too. I know, who would have thought that the demand would be so great? I always thought shrinking would solve this problem. But I guess I didn’t realize all these years how many women suffered in silence:

Wow. Images and videos of these junk-tuckers went viral, spreading like monkeypox at a Pride parade.


Yes, and for that he will be punished.


Oh damn that gay guy! He cheats on me every time. While the Target swimsuits stand out for their practical construction and extra coverage of the crotch – things I always look for in a thong. But why hide the fact that you got a package on the beach? Unless you want to trick someone. Sorry, I’ll never be comfortable with a girl staring at me in her swim trunks and getting noticeably aroused. This applies to the beach and the ladies’ room. That was funny when it was written. Several people online have said Target is aimed at kids, but a spokesperson claims they only come in adult sizes, which sucks because my nephew is in third grade and has a C cup.


In response to the backlash, Target’s CEO said the moves were “good business decisions and the right thing for society.” But really good for business, Mr. CEO? Why, then, have some Southern stores been reportedly asked by Target to clear the merchandise from the front of their stores? A Target insider told Fox News Digital that management had received emergency calls to shut down the displays. So here’s the deal.

No one says trans people don’t exist or don’t deserve rights or bikinis. We’re just saying that maybe companies could stop using baby clothes to push a delusional cultural trend or indulge in political exhibitionism just to place themselves high on the activist scorecard, because that’s what it is. I mean, have you noticed that all of these things happen one after the other, like they’re coordinated? The Canadian trans teacher with nipples the size of a dartboard.


Remember it? Trans swimmers and runners beat their physical female competitors like rented mules. Dylan Mulvaney and his 365 days as a girl, culminating in a Bud Light ad campaign that made the Hindenburg look like a gender reveal party. This Adidas Pride campaign features a male model in a women’s one-piece swimsuit. I was so offended that I reached out to the model personally and told them over dinner in Aspen. He was happy about the flowers.



Of course there are children, cartoons and books with cheeky non-binary male characters in dresses. Talk about Looney Tunes. Drag queens pop up from behind the aisles of the school library like little gay jack-in-the-boxes. It’s like drag queens are the only adults left who can read. Meanwhile, sister organizations are feeling the lift as Kappa Alpha becomes alpha male — there’s a 6’2, 260-pound trans student sister who is said to be trying to pretend to her sisters that she’s not a real man. Sorry, that’s a man. And it will take a lot of beer goggles for him to be at the next festival. Luckily, Bud Light is really cheap these days. But all of this has something to do with transsexuals. It’s a culture war blitz. And it raises the most important question in the world:



It really isn’t. I don’t wear bikinis unless Kudlow requests it. But I’m a social commenter with a lot of time, which is good for you but bad for Target. In fact, I never shop at Target. It always felt like a Kmart for Glee extras. But when that happens, I keep asking myself: have we reached the peak of transsexuality yet? They have swimsuits, the cover of the swimsuit issue. They’ve got pop singers and track stars and swimmers and now even mass shooters. So they’re as American as it gets now, which means like the rest of us, they have a target on their back. It’s called humor. You should accept it.

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