Husband supports because he doesn’t want his wife to train with “Homewrecker”.

A man has been supported online because he didn’t want his wife to hang out with her colleague who is believed to be a “homewrecker”.

Posted on Reddit’s r/AmITeA**hole forum, a man using the anonymous username u/dancingelves shared his story in hopes of gaining feedback from the “AITA” community. The popular post has over 7,000 upvotes and 2,000 comments.

The original poster (OP) began its story by explaining that his wife’s co-worker, “Joe,” divorced his wife a year ago. He also has a home-based business as a fitness trainer. Joe has a lot of exercise machines in his basement and people pay him to train them.

“My wife attended as part of a group this summer, the sessions were at 7:30, and she told me one day that another colleague of hers (female, middle-aged, also a client of his) came with one Running out of coffee from his kitchen having clearly spent the night,” wrote u/dancingelves.

“The thing is, this woman just separated from her husband 4 weeks ago. Now I have no evidence, but it seems to me that due to the fact that only 4 weeks have passed and she is already telling colleagues that they sleep together, she very likely had something before breaking up with her husband, and it was very likely a contributing factor to her separation from her family,” he continued.

Man doesn't want a woman with him "handyman"
Upstairs, a couple recently had a fight. Posted on Reddit’s r/AmITeA**hole forum, a man was endorsed because he didn’t want his wife to hang out with her colleague, who is believed to be a “homewrecker.”
JackF/iStock/Getty Images Plus

Four weeks after the situation arose, the OR’s wife told him she wanted to go to Joe’s house with her friend twice a week to work out. He told her he wasn’t going to say no, but after thinking about it, he felt uncomfortable and told her he didn’t want her to leave. He wrote that she signed up anyway and only told him an hour before the start of the session.

He admitted he was angry, which led to a fight. She has canceled the sessions since he asked her to, but doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with her.

In a recent edit to the post, the OP asked his wife if the roles were reversed and he worked with a colleague if she was upset, to which she didn’t respond.

When news week asked u/dancingelves for his take on the Redditor’s reactions, still not sure if he was wrong.

“Based on what I’ve seen mostly [you’re the a**hole] are from females and [not the a**hole] from males. I’m not sure what that means, but it’s interesting. Although the [you’re the a**hole] Posts offered some new perspectives, I still don’t like it and still won’t support it,” he said news week.

Why do people cheat in a relationship?

Lia Huynh, a marriage counselor and therapist, spoke news week Why Partners Cheat in a Relationship: “One category is people who are in current relationships where their needs are not being met. People who are looking for attention, love, and intimacy outside of their relationship may be lacking in their relationship, but they also may not feel comfortable bringing up the subject — they may feel too vulnerable to share their feelings, or they may feel that her partner will reject her.”

Huynh also explains why people cheat when they are happy in their current relationship, as it is more about the person cheating than their partner. She spoke about the cheating person trying to connect to a part of themselves that they have been unable to connect to in the past.

“Another reason is someone who lacks boundaries. Sometimes a person can be very kind and not feel comfortable saying ‘no’ to another person. Often these people grew up in families where they couldn’t say no or where the parents were very controlling,” Huynh said.

Other reasons people cheat are to get an excitement boost in their life when they are stressed out in their relationship over issues like career building and raising children, or they might have a sex addiction.

She also commented, “A lot of times people don’t want to have an affair, but a lot of times that’s how it ends.

Redditor reactions

U/LeftAlbatross2456 wrote and received the top comment from over 14,000 upvotes: “[Not the a**hole] – It’s obvious if the story was reversed, she wouldn’t like it. And while I might get hammered for saying this… If it was HER writing this post, many of the people here would say it was HER [the a**hole] would sing a different tune.”

“I’d say the same as you. Going down to a guy’s basement to train? For real? That seems like a good idea if you’re married? Leave out the fact that the guy appears to be having an affair with someone who is married. It’s STILL a bad idea,” the commenter continued.

“[Not the a**hole]. I think what is most telling is if you asked your wife how she would feel if the genders were reversed. To which she didn’t answer. To me, that means she knows she wouldn’t be okay with that and is struggling with the hypocrisy in her own actions that she is now aware of. If she wouldn’t be comfortable with that, then it’s okay if you’re not comfortable with that,” said u/RecommendsMalazan.

“I don’t think you should be crucified for being proactively preventive rather than being put in a situation where you would have to react retrospectively,” explained u/Majestic-Series1837, “I think it’s reasonable to engage with feeling uncomfortable about the situation. No, you shouldn’t have yelled at her. Calmly explain your position and offer alternative solutions.”

“[Not the a**hole] [in my opinion], although I think you and your wife should have a deeper conversation about it, clearly voicing your concerns about the situation. You could also suggest you maybe join a local gym? Or they and their friends sign up there,” commented u/legalistklw.

Has infidelity broken your trust in your partner? Let us know at We can ask experts for advice and your story could be featured there news week. Husband supports because he doesn’t want his wife to train with “Homewrecker”.

Rick Schindler

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