“I felt like a third wheel”
The internet has backed a man’s decision after leaving his date “stranded” after feeling “like the third wheel”.
Posted on Reddit’s r/AmITeA****** forum, a man under the anonymous username u/throwoutit shared his story so the “AITA” community could decide if he was wrong.
The original poster (OP) began his story by explaining that he recently dated “Mandy”, a girl he had met a few times, through his friend’s girlfriend, “Sara”. He thought she was “nice” and fun to talk to, so he took her to a sports bar to watch a soccer game as she enjoyed watching the sport.
Explaining where the date went wrong, he said: “We got to the bar and Mandy said her friend was there at a table with some other people. She left and said hello, we sat at the bar and ate. Then she asked if it was cool if we went and sat with them. I didn’t really want to, but I agreed.”
“We went over and she introduced me. That was basically it, I felt like a third wheel from there. I tried to talk to some of the other people about football but they weren’t looking at any sports. I tried “To start a conversation about other things with either of the guys and it didn’t seem like it was going anywhere. So I sat and watched the game while Mandy talked to her friends,” he continued.
He told Mandy he was going after the game but she encouraged him to have a few more drinks so he stayed. He explained that her friends were buying shots for everyone but him, which he understood because they didn’t know him and he was the designated driver to take Mandy home.
He told Mandy he wanted to go because he had to work the next morning. Mandy said she wasn’t done with her drink and asked him to wait until she was done to leave.
After a while, she continued to leave the OR to play darts and go outside with her friends without finishing her drink. He told her again that he was leaving, but she ignored him. He decided to leave without her.
“Yesterday after work,” the OP explained, “sara called me and yelled at me for dumping Mandy. She said if you drive someone anywhere you take them home too that she didn’t know I’m such an idiot to leave a girl alone in a bar that Mandy didn’t even know I left until she saw my jacket was gone and apparently Mandy had to rush home and I should refund her.”
Sara argued that he should have had fun with them instead of “sitting around moping.”
In his conclusion, he defended himself by saying that he tried to engage in conversations but it didn’t work, that Mandy wasn’t alone but with her friends, and that he didn’t want to sit around “bored” all night. “
news week asked u/throwoutit for a comment. We have not been able to verify the details of this case.
news week has written several articles on relationship tips, including first date warning signs to never ignore, a therapist discussing four signs your relationship isn’t working, and some online dating warning signs to be aware of.
Feeling like a “third wheel” in a relationship
Jaime Bronstein, Licensed Relationship Therapist and Author of Manifestspoke with news week about what to do when someone feels like a “third wheel” in a relationship.
“Verbalize how you feel,” Bronstein suggested. “I recommend waiting until you’re past the ‘third wheel’ scenario to indicate that you didn’t appreciate your partner’s lack of attention while they were with other people.”
She also suggested keeping yourself busy by finding another group of people to talk to when your partner isn’t paying you attention.
If things don’t change after confronting your partner, Bronstein suggested doing so news week Readers should consider ending the relationship.
“If your partner constantly makes you feel insecure in a group after you’ve expressed your feelings, and they continue to devalue you around other people, you should consider finding someone who cares more about you and your.” makes feelings. Someone who constantly makes their partner feel insecure, lacks empathy, and is likely insecure themselves,” she said.
“[Not the a******]. You told her you were leaving a few times and offered her a ride. If she wanted a ride, she has to pack it up and go with you when you’re gone. She didn’t do that,” u/corgwin wrote, earning the top comment from over 19,000 upvotes.
“It’s not just that… Mandy was incredibly rude, which was clearly a date. OP hung around way longer than necessary. He didn’t owe her anything at the time and went above and beyond by waiting multiple times,” u/ketita replied to the comment above.
“[Not the a******You gave Mandy several chances to get a ride home with you, she made her choices and got the consequences of those choices,” u/dublos reacted.
U/Forward_Squirrel8879 said, “[Not the a******] – You didn’t leave her alone in a bar, you left her with a large group of her friends. You’ve told her several times that you’re ready to go, and she basically blew you away.”
“[Not the a******]. She ruined the date herself by ignoring her date,” commented u/No-Personality5421.
Have you noticed any red flags that made you want to end a relationship? Let us know at firstname.lastname@example.org. We can ask experts for advice and your story could be featured there news week.
https://www.newsweek.com/man-backed-leaving-date-stranded-i-felt-like-third-wheel-1761226 “I felt like a third wheel”