‘iCarly’ star wanted to quit acting after harrowing audition: ‘Too painful’

Former child actress Jennette McCurdy has opened up about her complicated relationship with her mother and how it led to an awkward audition in her new book. I’m glad my mother died.

McCurdy, 30, who is best known for her role as Sam Puckett on the Nickelodeon series iCarlyhas explained in her tome that her late mother – who died of cancer in 2013 – controlled her life and career, leading to fear and self-loathing.

In an excerpt from the forthcoming book, published by Weekly entertainmentMcCurdy wrote candidly about a specific moment when an awkward audition prompted her to share her feelings with her mother about wanting to quit acting.

The conversation didn’t go as McCurdy had hoped, however, as her mother reacted emotionally, leading her to pursue a career that she didn’t want from a young age because she didn’t enjoy it.

"iCarly" Star Jennette McCurdy publishes book
Jennette McCurdy is seen on March 1, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. She is pictured on June 28, 2008 in Anaheim, California. McCurdy has written about her struggles as a child star in her new book, I’m Glad My Mom Died.
JB Lacroix/WireImage;/Gregg DeGuire/WireImage

Tells about her audition for a role in a classic CBS crime drama Without any trace— during which she cried on demand — McCurdy wrote: “I’m sitting in the waiting room collecting all my sadness as something changes inside me. It feels strange.”

“It’s never happened before, but it’s happening now and it scares me,” she continued. “A part of me resists my mind imposing this emotional trauma on itself. Part of me says, ‘No. It’s too painful. I will not do this.’

“That part of me is stupid. This part of me doesn’t realize that this is my specialty, that this is good for me, good for my family, good for Mom. The more I can cry on command, the more jobs I can book; the more jobs I can book, the happier Mom will be. I take a deep breath and then smile at Mom.”

After the audition didn’t go well, a young McCurdy opened up to her mother on her drive home, while admitting she wanted to quit acting.

“She hits the steering wheel and accidentally hits the horn,” McCurdy wrote of her sobbing mother’s reaction. “Mascara runs down her cheeks. She’s hysterical like I was in her Hollywood Murder Audition. Her hysteria scares me and demands attention.

“‘Never mind,’ I say out loud so Mom can hear through her sobs. Her crying stops immediately, save for a sniffle, but once that sniffle is over, there is complete silence. I’m not the only one who can cry on cue.”

Jennette McCurdy with "iCarly" co-stars
‘iCarly’ stars (LR) Jennette McCurdy, Miranda Cosgrove, Jerry Trainor and Nathan Kress are pictured together July 13, 2007 in Beverly Hills, California.
Jason Merritt/Movie Magic

Elsewhere in the book, McCurdy wrote about booking her role iCarlywhich ran from 2007 to 2012.

While McCurdy and her mother were driving together, her agent called to share the life-changing news, prompting the couple to “scream at the top of their lungs” — albeit for very different reasons.

McCurdy’s mother was delighted that her daughter landed the part, while the actress was only happy because of her mother’s happiness.

“I jump into Mom’s arms. she hugs me I’m thrilled,” McCurdy wrote of the moment she got this iCarly News. “Now everything will be different. everything will be better Mom will finally be happy. Your dream has come true.”

In her book, McCurdy also shared details about her battles with addiction, eating disorders and unhealthy relationships, problems she says only got worse after her mother’s death in 2013.

McCurdy was starring around the time her mother died iCarly spin off Sam & Catalongside future singer Ariana Grande.

The spin-off, which saw McCurdy’s Sam and Grande’s Kat starting their own babysitting business, only aired for one season and ended in 2014.

McCurdy later starred in the Netflix series In between as Wiley Day until 2016.

during a iCarly Rebooting began in 2021, McCurdy chose not to join the returning cast members, according to her rep news week at the time when she was focused on her book and one-woman show of the same name.

I’m glad my mother died Available in bookstores from August 9th.

https://www.newsweek.com/jennette-mccurdy-recounts-harrowing-audition-story-im-glad-my-mom-died-icarly-1730311 ‘iCarly’ star wanted to quit acting after harrowing audition: ‘Too painful’

Rick Schindler

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