Internet column about the husband’s friendship with a colleague half his age

A woman expressed concern online after finding messages between her 47-year-old husband and his much younger work colleague.

Marriage and family therapist Faith Dulin shared the concerns news week as “valid” and on the grounds that the wife was anything but “unreasonable”.

In a post on the popular forum Mumsnet, the wife shared that the former work colleague was a woman in her 20s. The woman’s husband was the woman’s manager before she left the company for another position six months ago.

woman at work
Stock image of a woman at work. A woman expressed concern online after finding messages between her 47-year-old husband and his much younger work colleague.
Getty Images

Their marriage, she explained in the Post, was in a bad place at the time, and he often returned from work in a bad mood, barely acknowledging it.

“However, he then spoke about how much fun he had at work and how they ‘spend the whole day laughing.’ He mentioned a few colleagues, but he mentioned them more than most. I actually lost my temper with him because he mentioned her so many times,” she shared.

After the colleague found another job, the woman believed that this was the end of the friendship. “Then over the weekend my husband showed me his cell phone and I could see there was a conversation going on between the two of them. She was basically asking if he was leaving anyone [going away party] and he said he wasn’t. All innocence enough, but why are they still in touch? Especially since I’ve expressed concerns about her in the past,” the wife continued.

said Dulin news week that it is mainly about the age aspect. “In general, friendships develop from similar life stages and thrive on shared interests. It’s hard for me to imagine what they have in common. It’s possible that the relationship is strictly platonic with healthy boundaries, but not likely. Their connection seems superficial and self-conscious. for what purpose we don’t know,” she said.

“Male infatuation with younger women is nothing new, especially when there is some level of authority in the work environment. Usually, the seduction in such situations is less about the actual woman or having an affair and more about his need for distraction from work stress, stroking the ego by fantasizing about her interest in enjoying the feeling of being in the work environment looks up to him and is ‘respected’ etc. Great job being honest with his feelings about the situation!”

However, Mumsnet users remained on the fence, with users taking both sides of the issue.

“I’m in my forties and have a good friend, a young man in his early twenties who I met through work. As I am completely innocent on both sides, I am like a bonus mother to him as a mutual colleague and it would be just that to see if we have a chance to catch up as I would with any friend.” assured one user.

“I’d definitely keep the situation under review if you’re uncomfortable, but just to say that age gap friendships aren’t always affairs,” they continued.

“I wouldn’t mind if my husband were friends with a woman half his age. It would bother me if my husband came home in a bad mood and didn’t acknowledge me,” agreed another user.

“That’s something I wouldn’t find acceptable,” countered another. “I have a particular dislike for older men who form close friendships with young women. The man almost always sees her inappropriately and all too often causes a stir, either by sneezing at her or by acting like an amorous fool in her presence.

“Embarrassing for him and by extension for his partner as usually everyone in the office sees what he is doing and laughs at him. Not to mention the power dynamics and potential for exploitation when he is her boss at work. As far as I’m concerned, every decent older man avoids these situations like the plague, and I would feel very differently about any man who doesn’t.”

news week could not verify the details of the case.

Has infidelity broken your trust in your partner? Let us know at life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice and your story could be featured there news week.

https://www.newsweek.com/mumsnet-younger-female-colleague-half-age-marriage-1751622 Internet column about the husband’s friendship with a colleague half his age

Rick Schindler

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