Internet defends mum who locked 10-year-old’s bedroom door

Members of a popular internet forum were quick to defend a mother’s decision to put a lock on her 10-year-old son’s bedroom door.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITeA**hole, Redditor u/NewtGroundbreaking70 (aka Original Poster or OP) described their only son as “a quiet kid who likes his own space” and explained how her overwhelmed nieces and nephews were the catalyst for larger privacy measures.

Captioned: “[Am I the a**hole] for putting a lock on my son’s bedroom door?” The post has received almost 7,000 votes and 1,200 comments in the last nine hours.

The original poster wrote that her older sister and three children live just down the road, and said her extended family is close by and could be a nuisance to her son.

“They always flock to his room to play when they come [around]’ wrote OP.

After a discussion with her husband, the original poster said the parents had come to the joint decision to put a lock on their son’s bedroom door and told the boy he could use the lock to keep his cousins ​​out of his room .

However, when her nieces and nephews first discovered her cousin’s locked bedroom door, the original poster said it immediately caused problems with her sister.

“The children flocked to his room only to find the door locked. At first they thought they were stuck and came to tell me… I told them no it was locked and it was up to my son if he wanted to let them in,” OP wrote. “My sister got upset about this and told me that a 10-year-old doesn’t need that kind of privacy and I’m just teaching him to be rude and inconsiderate.”

“I didn’t want to point out in front of their kids that they were the reason he needed the lock in the first place,” OP continued. “I told my sister to stop, and when her kids have to play so much, there’s no reason to hang around after lunch.”

“My sister ended up leaving upset … but told our parents how rude I was and how I teach my son to be reckless too and that I don’t teach him to ‘share’.” OP added. “Our parents are on my sister’s side … my husband is on my side and has suggested that my sister and her children not come [around] for a while.”

Although bedrooms are almost always accompanied by a bedroom door, some parents see the physical separation between themselves and their children as a tool of power and control.

While a closed door can help eliminate all outside noise from a sleeping child’s bedroom, older children often use the bedroom door for a different purpose: to keep themselves inside and their parents out.

In 2015, Care.com asked parents if a bedroom door is a right or a privilege. Reactions were mixed, with some parents arguing for a child’s right to privacy and others arguing that children have no need for privacy.

Other outlets, like psychology today and Professor’s House, have also looked at the subject of bedroom doors, and consistently one solution comes up more often than any other: compromise.

“As long as there are lines of communication between the child and the parent, the child should be left in charge,” said the Federal Council psychology today website reads. “Active dialogue and a degree of mutual accommodation is the answer.”

open bedroom door
Members of the Reddit forum r/AmITeA**hole defended a mother’s decision to put a lock on her son’s bedroom door.
alice-photo/iStock/Getty Images Plus

In the case of the viral Reddit post, the original poster said that there was, and continues to be, a high level of communication between her, her husband, and their son. And no matter how much pressure her sister and other family members exert, the original poster reassured her that keeping her son comfortable and safe is her top priority — something many Redditors appreciate.

“[Not the a**hole]” wrote Redditor u/km89 in the top comment of the post, which received more than 11,000 votes.

“As someone who grew up with very little privacy…thank you,” they added. “You’re doing the right thing with your kid.”

Redditor u/Adventurous_Aide-456, whose comment has garnered more than 1,300 upvotes, speculated that the original poster’s sister, who insists her nephew soothe their three children, could be harmful in the future.

“This is not sharing, this is bullying,” they wrote. “Your sister encourages her children to bully your son, which will only increase his social anxiety … what your sister does will only hurt your son and teach her children terrible manners.”

“Unlike your sister, you are teaching your son the only thing he is entitled to, his personal autonomy,” added Redditor u/BrownSugarBare. “Your sister teaches her children to get upset when they don’t get their way and demand things from people who don’t owe them anything.”

news week contacted u/NewtGroundbreaking70 for comment.

https://www.newsweek.com/lay-off-internet-defends-mom-who-put-lock-10-year-olds-bedroom-door-1712296 Internet defends mum who locked 10-year-old’s bedroom door

Rick Schindler

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