Internet schism over spouse trying to get husband to keep holiday promise

A spouse has caused the internet to split over his efforts to get his husband to keep the promise he made about his vacation.

Writing to the popular Reddit forum r/AmITeA**hole, stylized “AITA,” and u/witchyli received over 1,000 comments and 5,700 upvotes for their post: “AITA for refusing to let my brother-in-law in even though he did everything flew this way to speak to my husband about an emergency?”

The original poster (OP) says they’ve never had a vacation with their husband who wasn’t “ruined because of his work.” Whenever they went on vacation, u/witchyli says, their husbands were either stuck on the phone dealing with a crisis — or they had to leave early to solve the problem that was going on at work.

They finally told her husband that there was no point in going anywhere on vacation and her husband promised that this time it would be different and they said he even made sure that no one could reach him during the vacation.

All was going well until four days before the escape, her brother-in-law flew to the family’s vacation home and said he needed to speak to his brother about a work emergency. The OP told him he couldn’t come in and he had to wait until the holidays were over.

Instead of waiting, he came back a few hours later, and this time his brother answered the door. He was upset that he hadn’t been let in, and so was OP’s husband that he hadn’t been told his brother had come with an emergency.

However, in a later comment, the OP clarified that her husband told his brother he would take care of it when they got back, despite not knowing the nature of the “emergency”. They also admitted in that comment that they should have told their husband about the brother’s visit.

ruined holiday reddit aita work-life-balance business
A Redditor who refused to let his brother-in-law discuss a work emergency with his husband while they were on vacation has divided the internet.
Ivan Balvan/Getty

According to Alison Green’s advice column, Ask a Manager, it’s legal for an employer to call an employee and request that they answer while they’re on vacation. According to Green, employers are not legally required to provide paid vacation time and have the right to make any rules regarding that vacation time.

But, as Green says, “This is one of those issues where asking what’s legal is different from asking what’s smart.” Since the purpose of a vacation is to “charge” people, she says, it is often foolish to violate the holiday season without reason.

The internet was divided as to who was wrong on this particular issue.

“[Everyone Sucks Here]said u/Gummick in the top rated comment with 12,000 upvotes. “The husband needs to get his work life in order so you can enjoy the time off together. But you really should have told him his brother showed up. You can rightly argue that he needs to keep his word and not let work ruin another vacation, but you shouldn’t use deception to make that happen.

“OP is [Not the A**hole]. Her husband finally made sure that they could spend time together undisturbed. to the extreme, even doing something with the phone so they couldn’t be disturbed. Presumably, BIL KNEW this and decided he was too important to be included in that exclusion, so with his happy title he PERSONALLY marched to their location. I would not have let him in or told my husband about him. BIL is total [the a**hole]and my husband is also on the verge of a**holism,” wrote u/shadesofgreymoon.

“Dude needs to learn how to delegate. No one is that important unless they make the situation what it is. Also, don’t make decisions for other adults. [Everyone Sucks Here]’ wrote u/TheFightingQuaker.

“[Not the A**hole]. Your husband knew what he agreed to, and you and he found that he was unable to honor an agreement. No more vacationing until you and he have explored this to your satisfaction. Joint consultation is urgently needed,” u/billlevansatmariposa wfrote.

“I go with [You’re the A**hole]. If you can afford vacation time because of his work and he is so important to the function of the company, maybe some understanding?” u/butadol wrote. “If he’s just an employee for a company and needs to apply for leave and has it approved, then you are [Not the A**hole].”

“[You’re the A**hole]your husband had no control over his brother showing up at the family vacation home, it’s not his fault, you could at least have told him,” u/Joholification wrote.

“[Everyone Sucks Here]Her husband has to put his life in order. What did you think would happen? BIL would shrug and get on a plane home? He flew to get your husband’s attention. Of course he would come back upset and your husband would find out,” wrote u/Puzzleheaded-Gas1710.

news week asked u/witchyli for a comment. Internet schism over spouse trying to get husband to keep holiday promise

Rick Schindler

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