Internet shared about friend’s ‘weird’ desire to shower before bed

Most people agree that good hygiene is important, but “cleanliness” can mean different things to different people.

A woman recently took to the internet after admitting she only showered once a week, while celebrity couple Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis made a splash last summer after sharing their controversial bathing habits.

Mumsnet is at odds over whether or not a man’s request that his girlfriend shower before bed is “controlling”.

User SilentG1 wrote on Mumsnet’s Talk forum that after a day on the town her boyfriend called her “disgusting” and asked her to shower or sleep in the guest room.

She wrote: “We spent the day in town and arrived around 10pm or so.

“I stayed at his place and when we got home he told me I couldn’t sleep in his bed unless I had showered and washed my hair as he had clean sheets and we were in the tube Train/public transport etc were.

“[He said] It was disgusting to go to bed without linen after being in town all day.”

However, SilentG1 explained that she has very long hair that took a long time to dry and that she had already styled once that day.

She continued, “I washed and styled my hair this morning just 12 hours ago! I have long, chest-length hair that takes a hell of a long time to dry and style, and once I’ve done that I don’t usually bother to wash it again for a few days!”

However, her boyfriend refused to let her sleep in the bed with him and asked her to sleep in the guest room instead.

She concluded her post: “In the end, he ‘let’ me stay in his bed while I showered, even if my hair wasn’t washed.” Is that controlling or reasonable when it’s his place, so being able to dictate?”

A 2018 study showed that most people find poor hygiene a major dislike. Seventy-one percent of participants surveyed said poor personal cleanliness was a deal breaker, even more so than inappropriate sex drives, differing religious beliefs, or low intelligence.

According to experts, there are no “hard rules” about how often you should bathe. Factors like weather, activity level, skin type and how much you sweat affect when it’s time to shower.

Washing too often is bad for your skin as it removes natural oils and affects the natural surface bacteria that support your immune system, leading to dryness and reduced skin quality. On the other hand, washing too infrequently can lead to a build-up of dirt, sweat and dead skin cells, leading to breakouts and worsening existing skin problems.

Other Mumsnet users were divided on whether the man’s behavior was reasonable, with the post garnering over 300 comments.

Some were able to understand the man’s point of view, with Porcupineintherough commenting, “His bed, his rules.”

“Controlling, but I also see his point,” said SleepingStandingUp.

RomeoMcFlourish wrote: “I actually agree with him and I would never go to bed after being on public transport or in busy public places without washing first. These places are dirty.”

Others thought the poster’s friend overreacted, and some users suggested he might have cleanliness issues or anxiety.

WhatNowwwww said: “That’s quite a weird OP! He’s either kind of health scared or he’s a controlling jerk I’d say.”

Mushroo agreed, writing, “Weird and controlling. Showering is just about reasonable, but I wouldn’t wash my hair on command either!”

While Topsey123 commented, “I probably would have gone home.”

Internet shared because friend wanted a shower
A stock photo of a woman’s feet in the shower. Some Mumsnet users said the man’s request was understandable, while others said he might have health problems.
elenacastaldi77/iStock/Getty Images Plus Internet shared about friend’s ‘weird’ desire to shower before bed

Rick Schindler

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