Internet slams couple who refuse to pay son’s birth mother to babysit

Online commentators have slammed a couple for asking their son’s birth mother to babysit but refusing to pay.

The birth mother posted on the Am I The A**hole (AITA) Reddit forum under the username u/CurrentMaize07 that the couple are refusing to pay her because they see it as “parenting” not “babysitting.” look at when she watches her son. The post garnered over 8,600 upvotes and hundreds of comments from Redditors saying the woman should be paid. You can read the full post here.

In her post, the woman said she donated her eggs to her friends “V” and “M” three years ago.

Quarreling couple
Online commenters slammed a couple for asking their son’s birth mother to babysit but refusing to pay.
fizkes/istock

Known donors

According to Verywell Family, there are a number of advantages to using a “known donor” when deciding to have a baby through third-party reproduction. Aside from being less expensive, using a known donor can actually benefit the child in the long run.

“Research has shown that children conceived by donors wonder about their origins. Even in a close and loving relationship with her parents, it’s natural to wonder about her genetic heritage,” the website reads.

“One benefit of using a known donor is that the child conceived by a donor doesn’t have to wonder who this ‘mystery’ person who donated their sperm, eggs or embryos is. At least it will have the opportunity to contact and talk to the donor. They might even grow up with the donor,” the site continued.

Of course, there are downsides too, including an increased risk of litigation and parental conflict, and in some cases, the relationship between a donor and intended parents could break down over time.

“educate instead of babysitting”

In the case of u/CurrentMaize07, the donation process appears to have created tension between her and her friends.

“[V and M] used to say I was the coolest godmother/aunt to the baby and we would [all] one big happy family,” she said.

However, after the baby was born, V and M told u/CurrentMaize07 that she wouldn’t be able to meet the baby until he was “at least two years old”. Apparently, they feared that their presence in their son’s life would affect “their bond” with him. So she waited.

She finally met her son at his second birthday party last week, but V and M made sure they didn’t bond “too much”.

“[V and M] noticed that he got along with me too [well] and asked me to keep my distance from him. I was crazy but stuck to it,” she said, adding that the party otherwise went well.

A few days later, the couple texted u/CurrentMaize07 asking if she could babysit their son for a few days while they deal with a “family emergency”.

“I agreed but texted them babysitting rates. I would have done that as a friend [watched the baby for free] but since they never let me interact with the baby and were acting weird, I said yes [would] accuse them,” she wrote, adding that this angered the couple.

“Now M is over [the] The internet rants about what to call parenting and not babysitting when it’s your own baby,” she concluded. “AITA?”

Redditors respond

Redditors argued that because u/CurrentMaize07 and her son are as good as “strangers”, V and M have no right to pull her “parent” card.

“NTA [not the a**hole]. They alienated you for the baby, so why would you consider it your child? It’s one or the other, gentlemen!” exclaimed u/Syveril.

“NTA. The baby doesn’t even know you and won’t like being dumped with a stranger for two days. You are NOT a parent – they have made it very clear that they see you as a threat to their own bond with the baby and want to keep you at a distance. They chose that and now can’t scold you if it suits them to take care of the child,” u/Xellos1542 wrote.

u/Far_Anteater_256 added: “They made it very clear that you are not to treat the child as your own, lest they turn around and demand free childcare, regardless of the biological connection. You can’t have both.”

news week asked u/CurrentMaize07 for a comment.

More viral moments

Online commentators on Wednesday slammed a parent for debating whether or not to put his son’s artwork on the wall because it could upset his other son.

On Tuesday, a mother received online support for confronting a new member of her mothers group about her drinking. Redditors also on Tuesday applauded a man for defending his wife after she “yelled and verbally abused” his mother.

https://www.newsweek.com/internet-slams-couple-refusing-pay-sons-biological-mom-babysit-1732705 Internet slams couple who refuse to pay son’s birth mother to babysit

Rick Schindler

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