Internet stunned by man who says brother and mum are ‘like a married couple’
Members of a popular internet forum were left stunned after a man revealed how his brother’s relationship with their mother ruined a happy relationship.
In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITeA**hole, Redditor u/AITApreciousmom (aka the original poster or OP) said his 25-year-old brother had always been a mama’s boy and described the tense aftermath of his decision to warn his sibling’s girlfriend about what her future might hold.
Captioned: “[Am I the a**hole] for saying my brother is married to our girlfriend’s ‘precious mother’?” The post received more than 11,500 votes and 1,000 comments in the last day.
Beginning with the explanation that he is 38 years old and the oldest of four, the original poster said that his parents divorced when he was 15 and that he decided to move in with his father. The original poster also said his two middle siblings eventually followed, but made it clear that his youngest brother – nicknamed J – always preferred to live with his mother.
“J was always mom’s boy,” the OP wrote. “If I went to my mother’s house, he would never go [her] Page and after he turned 18, he turned down one of the best college offers in our country to stay with Mom.”
“Then he started caring for our mother full-time, even though she didn’t need it [it]’ OP continued. “They’re like a married couple right now and my mom never really lets her leash.”
“[Mom] calls us maybe once a month and when she calls it’s mostly about how J [is] to be a devoted son and us [are] a**holes,” OP added.
Five months ago, the original poster said he and his siblings were pleasantly surprised when they were introduced to their youngest brother’s new girlfriend. More recently, however, the original poster said he was confronted with the “really cute girl” he met months earlier.
“A week ago she called me and said she wanted to meet up,” OP wrote. “When we met, she asked how I could abandon my mother … and abandon my siblings … and why I basically betrayed my family.”
“I’ve told her everything about the divorce so far and said, ‘My brother will always have my mom first, you should get used to that,'” OP continued. “[Then] I asked her about her future plans and she realized it was always about my mother.”
“Two days later J [came to my front door] drunk and screaming, “You made us [BREAK UP], Mama was right, you’re nothing but a house wreck. I hate you and I hope you die alone,” OP added. “I called the police and he spent a night in detention.”
A man’s relationship with his mother, good or bad, can often play a role in his relationships with other women, according to Very Well Mind.
While men who maintain close relationships with their mothers are often psychologically healthier and more empathetic, men who remain attached to their mothers into adulthood can suffer severe psychological issues that affect both themselves and their romantic partners.
“However, a man who seems to have an unhealthy bond with his mother could pose a bigger problem. This is especially the case when it can’t seem to function without them,” reports Very Well Mind. “Border issues, dependency and entanglement can damage a relationship or marriage.”
On Reddit’s r/AmITeA**hole forum, stories of unhealthy relationships between mothers and grown sons are rife, often written by women who have fallen out with overbearing mothers-in-law.
Lately, news week has reported on a number of these threads, including examples where a mother-in-law got “depressed” at the sight of her son doing chores around the house, and even one where a particularly pushy mother-in-law told her daughter-in-law to “work a little harder in the bedroom.” .
In each of these cases, Redditors were quick to invoke toxic behavior from mothers-in-law and their sons, who refused to intervene. In the case of the original poster, the Redditors’ reaction was almost the same.
“[Not the a**hole]’ wrote Redditor u/wilhana in the top comment of the post, which garnered almost 19,000 votes. “You didn’t ruin his life, you stopped his girlfriend from ruining hers by getting her to see the facts.”
“Glad she’s smart,” added Redditor u/meredith_pelican, receiving more than 2,000 votes.
Redditor u/SassyPieHole173, whose comment received more than 3,200 votes, offered a similar answer.
“At first I thought it wasn’t your story to tell and that you should have let her work it out on her own,” they wrote. “But then when I thought about the absolute bulls she came out with that you left them all, I just saw how very toxic and incest the whole situation is.”
“All things considered, I think you probably saved her from a fate worse than death,” they added.
https://www.newsweek.com/internet-stunned-man-who-says-brother-mom-are-like-married-couple-1711109 Internet stunned by man who says brother and mum are ‘like a married couple’