Jimmy Kimmel mocks ‘lackluster’ Trump protests

“PROTEST, PROTEST, PROTEST!!!” That was Donald Trump’s instruction on his MAGA ride-or-dies last week when he announced he would be charged over his hush money payment scheme to Stormy Daniels. But the message got through loud and clear … to about as many protesters as could fit in a tiny Rikers Island jail cell, as Jimmy Kimmel explained.

On Tuesday night, Kimmel surveyed the scene outside of Trump Tower and did his best not to laugh at the sheer patheticness of it all. “The NYPD is on high alert in the New York State Supreme Court building right now,” Kimmel said. “The officers were supposed to change into their suits this morning and get ready for action. A HUGE crowd of protesters rallied to support Trump.”

The demonstration, which took place in Midtown Manhattan, explained Kimmel, “at last saw a lady [get] blowing that horn she’s kept in her closet for who knows how many years.”

A woman protesting and screaming alone also made quite an impression on Kimmel, who remarked that Trump “may have found his new Secretary of the Interior.”

But Kimmel tried to focus on the positive side of Trump’s nondescript protester numbers. “First of all, one reason attendance at the rallies may be lacking is that many of the hardcore protesters are in prison. From January 6th. Also, Trumpsters fear calls for protests could be some kind of Deep State trap.”

“There was also talk in the Trump discussion groups about driving trucks into Manhattan to disrupt traffic there,” Kimmel continued. “So you know these characters have never been to New York: You don’t jam Manhattan—Manhattan jams you.”

As of Tuesday night, despite Trump’s predictions, the former president was yet to be impeached, although his advisers are “preparing for several different potential scenarios,” according to CNN.