Man refuses to help pregnant girlfriend move

A 21-year-old is being snubbed online for refusing to help his pregnant girlfriend pack for the upcoming move, even though the couple had agreed he wouldn’t have to.

In a now-deleted post on the popular Reddit forum r/AmITeA**hole, the original poster (OP), which also deleted his account, received over 3,600 upvotes and 2,600 comments for his post in seven hours: “[Am I the A**hole] because you refused to help my girlfriend pack?”

The OP says his girlfriend “Katie”, 20, moved in with him about a year ago, which he describes as “pretty ill, no lying”. She also found out last month that she’s pregnant, and while it’s a big step in their relationship, he says, “We’re ready for it.”

OP’s lease has expired and although he would like to stay as he likes the flat, Katie wanted to move as they lived close to her parents and she wanted to ‘experience independence’. He finally gave in, but with the proviso that he didn’t have to do anything. She agreed and began packing for her move to a town three hours away.

“She promised I wouldn’t have to do anything except maybe help load and unload boxes into our apartments. I mentioned to her that maybe we should scrape together some money for movers or something,” the OP wrote. “I don’t know, I don’t really understand the pregnancy, but I’m pretty sure it shouldn’t do anything. But she said it was fine and I’m not going to tell her she’s wrong.”

While Katie packs, OP says he just taped a couple of boxes. He writes that she seems “a bit tired,” but when she asked if he would help her by wrapping some picture frames in bubble wrap, he declined, citing her approval.

“She said she knew, but thought I’d help a little. But why should I do that? We literally made an agreement,” he wrote.

Afterwards, he says, she broke down crying and said she was tired and had a headache for a week and wanted a little help. That didn’t kill him, though he offered her a run to Starbucks — and she told him to leave him alone.

pregnant girlfriend moves aita reddit boyfriend won't
A man is being snubbed online for refusing to help his pregnant girlfriend pack for her upcoming move – because she agreed he didn’t have to do anything.
iStock/Getty

As the OP points out, lifting can be difficult for a pregnant person’s body. according to dr While the standard rule of thumb, Robyn Horsager-Boehrer of UT Southwestern Medical Center, is that the pregnant person shouldn’t lift anything heavier than 20 pounds, it’s really more nuanced than that.

“How often does the woman lift these objects? Does she lift objects off the floor? How high are the objects lifted? How far along is her pregnancy? Any one of these factors could make a difference,” writes Dr. Horsager-Boehrer.

Generally, a pregnant person first realizes they are pregnant after their first missed period, although Planned Parenthood points out that some people know as soon as a week after conception. However, the Cheyenne Women’s Clinic says the limitations in lifting things typically kick in early in the second trimester or in the fourth month of pregnancy.

During the first trimester, the clinic says there are no restrictions other than being sure to lift with your legs instead of your back — good advice for everyone, pregnant or not.

Depending on how late Katie’s pregnancy is, she may or may not be allowed to lift boxes during the move. Regardless, Redditors were appalled by the OP’s apparent callousness.

“To show her that you love and care for her and that you will love and care for the child she is carrying for you,” u/Throwaway_1x2y3 answered the OP’s question as to why she was despite the agreement would help. They got the most upvotes in the conversation for that comment — over 14,900 of them. “[You’re the A**hole] Get together or you’ll only see the kid at the weekend if you’re lucky.

“Oh, and can we say hello to the guys from OP? I think this might be the first time on this sub that I see the guys being 100% correct,” wrote u/PerturbedHamster. “[You’re the A**hole], OP. I can’t imagine being stubborn and not lifting a finger to help your pregnant friend.”

“[You’re the A**hole]. I hope she decides to dump you as a single mom. Sounds like it might be easier than dating you,” u/QuebecSausage wrote.

“She doesn’t have to raise two kids…” added u/notsalg.

“Are you the asshole for even making such a ridiculous deal and then sticking with it even after you found out your girlfriend is pregnant? Are you the asshole for sticking with the deal after your girlfriend asked you to do a little chore when she’s been working for weeks? Are you the asshole to even doubt that you’re the asshole? Yes, you are the asshole. [You’re the A**hole],” wrote u/PrivateEyes2020.

https://www.newsweek.com/made-agreement-man-refusing-help-pregnant-girlfriend-move-bashed-1723132 Man refuses to help pregnant girlfriend move

Rick Schindler

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