Commenters slammed a man on Reddit for returning his fiancee’s wedding dress behind her back after his mother chose a different one.
The original poster (OP), known as u/Throwaway9757657, posted about the incident on the forums “Am I the A**hole?” on Friday, where it received more than 18,000 upvotes and 9,100 comments. You can find the post here.
mothers-in-law and conflicts
Research shows that toxic mothers-in-law often have a hard time respecting boundaries and disagreeing with their mood, which causes additional stress for some individuals.
According to a study published in the journal Evolutionary Psychology Science, both men and women reported having more conflicts with their in-laws than with their birth parents. Almost half of those surveyed also said they had more conflicts with their mothers-in-law than with their birth mothers.
In the post, titled “AITA for my reaction when I found out my fiancé returned my wedding dress and replaced it with the one his mother chose for me?” the 28-year-old woman said she will be getting married in December.
While she said she gets along with her fiancé’s mom, the OP explained that she’s the “pushy type” but “overall nice.”
“I hate to admit that planning the wedding was an absolute nightmare,” the post reads. “His mother wasn’t willing to agree on most things and my fiancé said that since he is her only son I should respect and appreciate this ‘vision’ she has for the wedding and how it should be is.”
Recently, the OP went shopping for wedding dresses with her mother, some friends and her future mother-in-law who “insisted” on it.
Though she found the dress she was looking for, she said her fiancé’s mother chose a different one, saying she “always imagined her son’s bride in it.” The OP said her friends and mother were “sneaked” by the comment and she said the dress wasn’t her style.
“I apologized and thanked her for her ‘vision’ but told her I had already decided on a dress that I ‘imagined’ wearing at my wedding,” the post reads.
‘Look at the dress’
When her fiancé returned home later that day, he began “scolding” how upset his mother was that she had “disapproved” her choice of dress and “excluded” her from the experience.
The OP told her fiancé that she didn’t think his mother should have any say in her dress at all, but he got upset and told the OP her “attitude” was not “to work on him” or his mother.
“He said that I should consider the dress his mother wanted me to have, especially knowing that ‘the two dresses aren’t that different anyway,’ as she said,” the post reads. “But I told him, yes, they were different… so very different.”
On Thursday, the OP said she got home and found her wedding dress was gone, before later finding out her fiancé returned it in exchange for the dress his mother had chosen.
“I called him and he was straight up about what he did and why he did it,” the post reads. “I lost it and started yelling at him. He asked me to calm down and really give this dress ‘a chance’.”
The two then got into another argument before she left and stayed at a friend’s house. She then began receiving texts and calls from her fiancé saying she had “overreacted” and that this was “his wedding too.”
“He kept talking about how his mother has ‘vision’ and good intentions and only wants what’s best for me as her future daughter-in-law,” the post reads. “Mom is angry and wanted to yell at him and his mom, but my dad said it’s not worth ruining my relationship with my in-laws.”
Rather, the OP’s father suggested that she should “educate” and “go with the flow.”
“Is it too much for me to be able to choose my own wedding dress without feeling guilty just to keep the peace?” the post reads. “AITA for my reaction?
Many who commented suggested the OP let her fiancé over the situation.
“Give him the ring back… say, ‘I hope you have the wedding you and your mother always hoped for.’ Go away,” commented one user.
“NTA. It’s good that this is happening now,” commented another user. “That’s not a dynamic that’s going to change with your fiancé or his mother. RUN.”
“Maybe his mom could wear it to the wedding and fill in for you,” commented another user.
“Be smart and run a mile. The next step is to pick your honeymoon and come along,” commented another user. “Run, run, run, run and then run some more.”
“NTA, sane answer: call off the wedding,” one user commented. “Comedy Answer: Take his suit back and trade it for a clown outfit. Besides, your father makes a fool of himself too.”
Newsweek has reached out to u/Throwaway9757657 for comment.
Other viral posts
In another viral Reddit post this week, a bride was slammed for lying to a guest about having children at the wedding, while another was backed in July for keeping her nephew away from her wedding.
Also earlier this month, a woman was praised for “staging” an insecure bride at her wedding.
https://www.newsweek.com/man-slammed-returning-fiancees-wedding-dress-moms-request-1745938 Man slammed for returning fiancee’s wedding dress at mother’s request