Man slammed for saying his late wife wasn’t the ‘love of his life’ but his new wife

The internet has slammed a man for saying his late wife wasn’t the “love of his life” but his new wife was.

Posted on Reddit’s r/AmITeA**hole forum, a man under the anonymous username u/AITA_27744 shared his story to get feedback from the “AITA” community. The viral post has over 8,000 upvotes and 1,000 comments.

“My late wife died 6 years ago, we were together 4 years and married 1 year before her death,” the original poster (OP) began, “My mother loved her as a daughter as I am her only child and I guess she never really recovered, I loved my late wife too, but after meeting and spending time with my now wife, I’m sure she wasn’t the love of my life.”

He explained that his mother “never liked” his relationship with his current wife-to-be “Helena.” She doesn’t believe his love for Helena is “bigger and truer” than his late wife. The OP thought his mother crossed the line many times but Helena wants to be accepted so she told him to let it go and not do anything about it.

The OP’s mother is comparing his previous marriage to his new one. He married his late wife at a young age and couldn’t afford an extravagant wedding, while at his new marriage he was financially stable enough to be able to afford better things.

Husband says his late wife is not his love
Above a man looking angry. Posted in Reddit’s r/AmITeA**hole forum, a man was slammed for saying his late wife wasn’t “the one of his life” while his new wife was.
fizkes/iStock/Getty Images Plus

His mother asked if he could invite his late wife’s parents. He denied her request, saying there was no reason for her to be in his life.

The OP wrote: “I felt like my mother had been holding on too tightly to my previous marriage, refusing to let go and urging me to do the same. As bad as it sounds I was done, I want to be with Helena without the burden of always having my ex-in-laws there watching the life her daughter and I didn’t have.

“During the wedding day my mum actually showed up with them, I asked what they were doing there and they said very embarrassed that my mum invited them and they thought it was ok. My mother said they were ‘my’ family” and I had a duty to them, I said they could stay until reception to avoid comment but I hadn’t invited them and I was sorry. I looked over at mine Mother and said, “You mustn’t stick to everything. Go, we’ll talk later. She cried and begged but I asked her again to leave, in the end the three went together,” he continued.

news week asked u/AITA_27744 for a comment.

Tips on how to help a loved one through the grieving process

Are you in a situation where a family member or friend recently lost a loved one? According to helpguide.org, here are some tips to help a loved one through the grieving process:

  • Understand the grieving process: There is no right or wrong way to grieve, grief has no timeline, and grief can provoke extreme emotions and behaviors.
  • Listen and know what to say to your loved one: Listen as your loved one talks about the person they lost, express your condolences, concern, and support.
  • Help your loved one with chores and errands.
  • If your loved one is showing signs of depression, talk to them about seeking professional help.

Redditor reactions

“Just judging by the wedding situation: [not the a**hole]. But you sound kind of callous talking about your late wife like that, almost like it’s handy that she died so you can move on to finding your “true love.” Both you and your mother need therapy. And OP, you had to treat your ex-in-law better, they were put into this situation unknowingly by your mother and had no idea,” wrote u/lizzylou365, receiving the top comment of 18,000 upvotes.

U/queenlegolas said: “[Not the a**hole] for kicking out your mom, but [You’re the a**hole] for the way you talk about your late wife. You moved on but this shouldn’t be a comparison game at all, you’re cruel to the dead. You willingly spoil good memories of her, it almost sounds like you’re overcompensating for your new wife because you might feel guilty on some level. But your comments about your late wife are unjustified.”

“[Everyone sucks here], except your poor ex-in-laws. Look, man, you want to pretend that your first marriage is an unfortunate side adventure on the road to finding “the true love of your life” and neither your mother nor anyone else can stop you. She certainly cannot invite anyone to your wedding without your permission, no matter who they are. But boy, do I hope you and your late wife didn’t have children, which you conveniently neglected to mention because you don’t have to make it so obvious to people who still miss them how little you don’t have,” explained u/mm172.

“[Everyone sucks here] You make your late first wife sound like a stepping stone and that you’re too good for your former in-laws now that you’ve moved forward and up. Cold-blooded, but that said, withholding a wedding invitation isn’t necessarily bad form if you were out of touch with them after the time was up and didn’t want to set that precedent. Your mother was definitely way out of line. Anyway, congrats and I hope you got what you asked for,” commented u/Ok_Upstairs5713.

https://www.newsweek.com/man-bashed-saying-late-wife-wasnt-love-his-life-new-wife-1748531 Man slammed for saying his late wife wasn’t the ‘love of his life’ but his new wife

Rick Schindler

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