Man trafficked for not inviting his wife to the party because he’s afraid he’ll ‘babysit’ her

The internet is dragging a man around for not inviting his wife to a party for fear of having to “babysit” her throughout the event.

A man posted to Reddit’s r/AmITeA**hole forum is sharing his story with the “AITA” community under the username u/throwawaysbdayswife so they can consider if he was wrong. The viral post has 3,000 upvotes and 1,000 comments.

The Redditor begins by explaining that his best friend at work, “Rick,” had a birthday party. The party was held in a bar and was more relaxed than a sit-in restaurant, so spouses were invited as well. His wife thought it was a work-related party, but the original poster (OP) stated it was a celebration.

“I was honest and told her I wanted to have fun and didn’t have to babysit her. She is outgoing and easily converses with new people she meets, but she wouldn’t know anyone at the party as well as she hasn’t met any of my colleagues. That would mean that I felt I had to accompany her or stop by her frequently. I can’t just relax and enjoy the party,” he wrote.

“She has some social anxiety. So she likes it when I check on her or stay close when we are in a larger group. So I feel like I have to babysit her and I just want to have fun and not think about those things,” he continued.

Man and woman are arguing about a party
The internet has hijacked a man after he refused to invite his wife to a birthday party for fear of having to ‘babysit’ her.
fizkes/iStock/Getty Images Plus

Do you know someone who has experience with social anxiety? There are many ways to help them feel comfortable in a social setting. According to, a great way to help people with social anxiety is to be a good listener, try to play a game to distract them, and show empathy.

His wife called him because he made her feel like a burden. She explained to him that her feelings were hurt and that the OP didn’t want her to meet the people he was working with. She also argued that she was a homemaker with two young children and couldn’t get out much.

“I told her I’d like to introduce her to my colleagues, but I offered to organize dinner for her, but I just want to enjoy myself and have fun at this party – and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that is that. She’s cold right now and she’s not talking to me.”

Other Redditors were quick to voice their opinions.

“[You’re the A**hole]. Introducing your outgoing wife to your co-workers will spoil your fun as you will feel like a babysitter. Are you serious? Instead, she stays home with your young children while you focus your full attention on having fun. [A**hole]’ u/nikokazini slammed the OP, receiving over 13,000 upvotes for her comment.

U/CensoredZebra wrote: “[You’re the A**hole] Yeah, dude, you suck. First things first, maybe I’m a weirdo, but my SO is my best friend. I always ask him to go somewhere with me and checking on him at a party wouldn’t really be a burden to me.”

U/Great_Clue_7064 polled the OP: “[You’re the A**hole] and besides, who is the woman you’re hoping to flirt with at this party? I hope she’s worth the alimony, bro.”

“You didn’t make your wife sound clingy, you just made it sound like you didn’t want to feel ‘obligated’ to check on her every now and then during the party which makes her feel like you see her that way a load you d**k,” the commenter continued.

U/NoxWild said, “You just don’t want them there. You invent a scenario where you are burdened with taking care of her needs and cannot enjoy yourself. It’s weird that you think their presence means you won’t be able to have fun and enjoy yourself. What you up to? An impromptu striptease? Making out with Jane from accounting in the corner?”

news week contacted u/throwawaysbdayswife for comment. Man trafficked for not inviting his wife to the party because he’s afraid he’ll ‘babysit’ her

Rick Schindler

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