Man won’t talk to in-laws about his $70,000 mistake a decade ago
Netizens have applauded a man who has refused to speak to his in-laws after they caused damage to his $70,000 construction machine, even though he told them they couldn’t use it.
Reddit user u/WallabyOverall3366 asked if they were wrong in telling their brother-in-law to “get over himself” 10 years after the damage.
Disputes over finances come as no surprise. The American Psychological Association has regularly conducted surveys of the stresses affecting individuals, and money concerns are always at the top of the list.
In 2014, the poll found that 72 percent of Americans said they felt stressed about money, and 18 percent said they would not talk about money with family.
The Reddit post explains that the poster’s brother-in-law is a general contractor and has plenty of equipment for his job. When the person’s father and brother were building a new deck, they wanted to enlist the brother-in-law’s help.
“They prepared the ground as best as they could without the skid steer loader, but got to the point where they couldn’t go any further without it. They went to my sister’s house to double check but found out the BIL [brother-in-law] went out of town. They persuaded my sister to let her borrow it,” the post reads.
“I was told dad’s truck wasn’t big or strong enough to tow the skid steer on the dump trailer, so he lost control. The truck, trailer, and skid steer loader were totaled. Insurance was barely enough to cover medical expenses and the truck. There was nothing left to cover BIL’s things.”
The poster explains that when the brother-in-law returned from the rubble, he was left angry and “threatened to sue”. In the end there were no charges, but the brother-in-law no longer has anything to do with his wife’s family.
While family feuds and grudges can be difficult to deal with, professional counselor Linda Whiteside said news week: “I think the best way to deal with this is to communicate with the person holding the grudge. Make sure the area of conversation is in a safe place and that there are multiple witnesses, as money tends to get people a bit jumpy.
“During the conversation, have them tell you everything they are going to reveal, from their feelings to their impact. Finally, when they’re done telling you about anything they might have bottled, it’s best to ask them how they plan to fix that problem.”
An open discussion can do a lot to improve things. Whiteside also suggests that having “concrete steps” on how to achieve the solution that works for everyone is also crucial.
While the Reddit user acknowledges that the fallout happened 10 years ago, they took to social media on Feb. 1 for an upcoming family celebration.
For their parents’ 50th wedding anniversary, the siblings plan a family reunion and pay for a cruise. However, the brother-in-law says he doesn’t need to lose any more money to the family.
The post continues: “I spoke to sister about this the other day and she said she’s coming with the kids but BIL isn’t coming. I was fine with that, but as we were talking about their share of the cruise money, I heard him yelling in the background to get their share off the skid steer and dump truck costs.”
That was a step too far for the original poster. He told the brother-in-law to “let it go” but unfortunately the intervention only exacerbated tensions. The poster wonders if they are now in the wrong for “stepping out of line”.
The Reddit post has more than 13,000 votes and over 6,000 comments so far. Many users have written that the poster and their family’s lax attitude towards the financial damage they have caused put them in the wrong.
One person commented: “Your family stole over $50,000 worth of work equipment from your BIL. You didn’t pay him back, from the sound of it showing no remorse and he should just get over it? You and your family sound massively entitled, your BIL is smart to cut you clean.”
Another person wrote: “They have washed their own misdeeds well and have not bothered to repay a single penny in 10 years. I understand that they are poor, but that doesn’t lessen their sense of responsibility.”
Do you have a monetary dilemma? Let us know at firstname.lastname@example.org. We can ask experts for advice and your story could be featured there news week.
https://www.newsweek.com/brother-law-holds-grudge-mistake-decade-ago-1779406 Man won’t talk to in-laws about his $70,000 mistake a decade ago