Members of a popular internet forum joined forces to support a mother-to-be who explained how her cousin and aunt brazenly tried to conquer her baby shower.
In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITeA**hole, Redditor u/rainbowbaby2022 (aka the original poster or OP) said her cousin had learned weeks before the celebration that she was also pregnant and described it the heated aftermath of her attempt at taking over OP’s special day.
Captioned: “[Am I the a**hole] for not allowing my cousin to announce her pregnancy at my rainbow baby shower?” The post has received more than 5,000 votes and 1,000 comments in the last 11 hours.
The original poster wrote that it was years before she and her husband conceived and said she was “very excited” to welcome her first child, noting that her mother was just as excited, if not more so more.
“She’s been planning our baby shower and making decorations for months,” the OP wrote. “She was the greatest help.”
While she was planning her baby shower, the original poster said her cousin found out she was pregnant too and asked to announce the news at the shower. The original poster said she quickly scrapped that plan, but explained how tensions came to a head on the day of the celebration.
“Last Saturday was my baby shower!” surgery started. “It was everything I was waiting for.”
“When it was time for us to eat my cake, my aunt said, ‘Wait, everyone hold together,’ and went outside to her car,” OP continued. “That was the moment I knew something was going on.”
“My mom and I follow her outside and my aunt decided to bring a cake announcing my cousin’s pregnancy and some gifts for my cousin,” OP added.
After her aunt’s shocking cake reveal, the original poster said all hell broke loose.
“My aunt had a fit and yelled, ‘This is a baby shower, this is for babies. Cousin is having a baby too so this day is about her!” OP wrote. “My cousin joins the yelling now and says how pissed she is that it’s all about me.”
“They wouldn’t stop screaming so they got kicked out by the recovery center security and half our family was upset that I didn’t give her a moment to shower so they left too,” OP continued. “Now everyone’s hitting my mom, me and the rainbow baby on Facebook, group family texts, anything at all.”
Like proposing on someone else’s wedding day, piggybacking a pregnancy announcement at another expectant mother’s baby shower is generally frowned upon.
On several occasions, women who have recently found out they are pregnant have visited the parenting website BabyCenter to ask the question: should I make the announcement at an event specifically designed to announce the pregnancy of a loved one to celebrate?
In any case, BabyCenter users insisted that announcing such big news at an event like a baby shower is disrespectful and almost guaranteed to cause trouble for the expectant mother, who should be the center of attention.
“If a friend of mine did that, I would feel hurt and wonder why she couldn’t have chosen another time,” one user wrote in response to a woman asking if she was showering her with her pregnancy should announce best friend.
“Don’t be selfish and steal your boyfriend’s day,” the user continued. “Would you announce an engagement at someone’s wedding reception? TACKY.”
Throughout the comments section of the viral post, Redditors echoed this sentiment, defending the original poster and her mother for confronting her cousin and aunt so hostilely.
“[Not the a**hole]’ wrote Redditor u/mooseshart in the top comment of the post, which garnered almost 10,000 votes. “Absolutely [not the a**hole].”
“This was YOUR day that you’ve been trying to make possible for YEARS,” they continued. “If she wanted to steal the limelight, she should have put the money, time and effort into herself… You and your mother are 100 [percent] to the right.”
Redditor u/URSmarterThanILook, whose comment garnered more than 5,000 votes, offered a dead-end solution to the conflict between the original poster and her cousin.
“Ask your aunt why she doesn’t love her daughter enough to throw her her own shower like your mom did for you,” they wrote.
“Why doesn’t your aunt feel like her daughter should be celebrating her own special day? That’s the odd thing for me,” added Redditor u/No-Policy-4095. “You have to share, but doesn’t she see that she’s forcing her daughter to share too?”
In a separate comment that garnered nearly 1,000 votes, Redditor u/laude_nam said the original poster’s cousin and mother should listen when OP told them not to announce the pregnancy at their baby shower, and called out the rest of her family for their behavior.
“When will it cross people’s minds that co-opting others’ celebrations to make milestone announcements is inappropriate,” they wrote. “To everyone lecturing you and your mom, it wasn’t a celebration they planned for their milestone and if someone did it to them they would be upset.”
https://www.newsweek.com/soon-mom-defended-shutting-down-cousins-pregnancy-announcement-1712562 Mom-to-be is being defended for shutting down cousin’s pregnancy announcement