“Our family shames us for sending our children to day care”
Tom and Marie’s daughters go to school and after Marie stayed at home with the children for five years, the couple decided that the girls would go to daycare so their mother could have longer breaks during the day.
Tom works full-time and although Marie has not returned to work, she struggles with multiple disabilities that require lots of rest and frequent doctor visits.
“My wife has multiple physical disabilities and being a housewife for the past five years has been extremely difficult for her,” he said Reddit.
“In addition to her usual problems, she is also dealing with new medical problems. We assumed the after-school care would give her a much-needed break.”
But their extended families disagree.
“We’ve had A LOT of opposition from our families about this,” he continued.
“We were called cruel and careless and told our children deserved to be home.”
Tom added that while the girls go to daycare every day, as a family they spend almost three hours together every night, plus weekends.
Even the teacher had criticized Marie when she found out that the school bus did not take the girls home but to the after-school care. Tom was at a loss and didn’t know what to do.
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Reddit community reacts to daycare shaming
The community was overwhelmingly supportive of the couple’s situation, and many said if the extended family was having trouble looking after the girls, they could step in and help.
“Tell them, ‘Fantastic! So see you at our house at 3:30pm so you can watch them until we get home,” one person said. “Don’t bother with these people. You don’t owe them anything because they don’t take care of your children or live at home with you.”
“Seriously. You do what’s best for your family, and if other people want to step in and provide childcare and socialization, that’s cool,” said another. “If not, they can kick rocks. It’s not about their family.” and not for their children.”
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Sharing a personal experience, one person said that although the grandparents on both sides lived nearby and were helpful, they still sent their children to daycare.
“We send our children to daycare as soon as possible,” they said. “The village needs breaks, the children need contact with other children, the teacher helps to identify any neurodivergent problems that we may not see.”
