Quarrels between siblings: My children won’t stop hitting each other

They are only two and four years old. I didn’t think they would be so “violent” at that age. The amount of biting, hitting, scratching, hair pulling, and shoving I see between them each day is concerning.

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“I feel like I’ve tried everything”

I would say that in our household we lean more toward “gentle parenting.” I am proud to say that my husband and I do not yell at each other or the children. We are never violent. And ALWAYS try to stop fighting and hitting right away. We try to create a reasonably “quiet” home.

I tried not to make a big deal out of it. I tried to use a very strict and serious voice when it comes to not hitting. I’ve tried taking things away. they separate. Positive praise when they are gentle. Comfort and comfort the injured child.

Honestly, it feels like I’ve tried everything but nothing seems to work.

I still resolve what feels like 100 arguments a day. Some of them leave scratches, bite marks, and even some blood.

I really don’t know what to do and I want to know if I’m the only mom out there struggling with this.

I would like to emphasize again that in most cases they are very nice to each other. My eldest calls her little brother “Bub” and is so creative with her games. They share a room and really love each other. Watching them play together is one of the greatest joys in my life. And I’m so damn proud of her.

But why does their game end in such a violent way? Whether intentional or not, someone always gets hurt. And it’s exhausting.

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“Am I the only mom out there struggling with this?”

Last week my MIL caught my four year old “slapping his head” on my two year old.

And later that same day, my two-year-old left a large bite mark on his older sister’s arm. I saw it happen and stopped it immediately. But it left good marks.

I genuinely believe my two year old wasn’t malicious or trying to hurt her, he just gets carried away.

And after that, when he realized what he had done, he felt great remorse and kept saying, “I’m sorry, sister.” He was very concerned about her “sore arm.”

But later that day, one of them throws, hits, or tackles again.

My question is, is this normal and how long will this phase last? When is it too far?

I feel like I’m losing my mind, resolving disputes and trying to show a gentle and loving demeanor.

And if you ask me why they might be violent, I have no idea. They don’t watch much TV, and if they do, we’re very careful about what they’re watching. And I highly doubt that there is violence and childcare…

Am I the only mom out there struggling with this? Please help!