‘Real Housewives of New Jersey’ Recap: Season 13 Premiere, Episode 1

Men, they ruin everything. You might even be able to wreak havoc on season 13 of The real housewives of New Jersey?

Tuesday’s premiere featured new cast members, accusations of witchcraft, a carefully harmless ’80s-style roller skating party, and a stronger presence from Teresa Giudice’s now-husband, Louie Ruelas.

Louie seems like a pretty nice guy. He’s the classic Jersey because he’s constantly smeared with hair gel and looks more like a Ball Park 100 percent Beef Frank than a human. But he dims Teresa’s light, the housewife best known for her inability to adequately manage conflict.

Thanks to Louie’s encouragement, Teresa has suddenly taken on an affinity for talk therapy. She’s embarked on a journey of learning, “I don’t have to react, start screaming, throwing things, that’s a no-go.” Says who?

Last season, we watched Teresa and her housewife Margaret Josephs butt heads in a clash that culminated in a laundry list of expletives coupled with a side of thrown drinks. At the start of this season, thanks to Louie’s pensive Rat, Margaret and Teresa have a gentle chat about their feelings about last year’s debacle over hors d’oeuvres next to an outdoor pool.

Louie coaches Teresa before Margaret’s arrival, telling her, “You want her to know that you regret your actions.” He also encourages Teresa to put bottled water on the table instead of glasses, probably to avoid having glassware thrown become. It’s this kind of forward-thinking that unravels the mystery surrounding Teresa Giudice and begins to invent an inauthentic reality, something that doesn’t bode well for this genre of television.

The conversation flows smoothly (just as Louie hoped) and reflects a geriatric counseling session rather than a scene from one housewives Premiere. At one point, Louie even has the audacity to interrupt Teresa and says, “Babe, you gotta listen. Because you cut them off. Just give her the space to talk.”

Louie, enough! You deconstruct something housewives is at its core: reactionary women who solve problems as they please. What’s more boring to TV than a person dealing with conflict in a healthy and constructive way? We are watching housewives to escape, to make our own relationships less silly, to witness what might happen if we acted impulsively, not to outdo ourselves with admirable mediated discussion. For that we have Dr. Phil (at least reps).

Margaret eventually walked out of the conversation ill-intentioned, even noting, “I think Louie is really affecting her life.”

As a New Jersey Discussions aimed at rehashing an old drama could go ahead without someone ending up in soggy clip-on extensions in the nearby pool is both remarkable and disappointing. Thank you Louie

In some circles, Teresa is a fan favorite (see you Tree Huggers) and in others she is lamented. But everything housewives Fans may agree: Teresa’s brief, table-turning fuse brings a unique, inflammatory quality to this franchise not found in this film beverly hills, Orange County or Salt Lake City (although sometimes they try to fabricate it). The eruptions themselves aren’t necessarily what draw viewers; We’re more puzzled by the ingrained feelings of betrayal from which the outbursts stem.

We’re curious about Teresa because she doesn’t make much sense. She is the only performer capable of starting and sustaining a year-long war over the downsides of a streusel cookie. she is the only one who would hold grudges against anyone for getting married while she was pregnant; She’s the only one who can turn a table over without the audience doubting the genuineness of her anger. Somehow all these seemingly random explosions add up strangely when they come out of the New Jersey Matriarch, someone who values ​​familial loyalty and bloodlines with more ferocity than a character in a gothic drama.

Of course we are not against a real evolution in women. We’ve watched Atlanta housewife Porsha Williams transform from someone who thought the Underground Railroad was made up of real trains, driven by real conductors, traversing hidden tracks underground to a committed activist. which was profiled by the New York Times and described as a “crusader against police violence”. We’re here for that kind of growth.

But New Jersey Fans know Teresa will never show a real, lasting change. We’ve seen her flirting with reform before. After spending 11 months in prison, we saw her return to society in a zen state, claiming to have achieved balance through yoga. All of that was quickly thrown out the window in Season 10, with whispers being heard around the world, leading to a violent ponytail pulling at a handbag shop in an outdoor mall.

Thanks to Louie’s efforts to water down Teresa, we were forced to spend the money New Jersey Premiere that takes the women from one lame get-together to the next. Let’s just get on with the good stuff and scrap the fake friendliness – we know this won’t last.

All we’re saying is, if 11 months in a Connecticut federal correctional facility can’t change a person, neither can a greased-up hunk named Louie.