Russell Crowe drops out of the inevitable Donald Trump biopic

MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - JANUARY 28: Russell Crowe is seen during the Women's Singles Final match between Aryna Sabalenka and Elena Rybakina of Kazakhstan on Day 13 of the Australian Open 2023 at Melbourne Park on January 28, 2023 in Melbourne.

Photo by Andy Cheung/Getty Images

At some point in the future someone will find themselves bold and bold enough to direct a biographical feature film detailing the life and times of donald trumpalthough you would probably need a mini-series at best to do justice to the extensive and exhaustive story of the orange loon.

A person, however, who doesn’t spend hours in the hair and makeup chair trying to recreate this perfectly home alone 2 star’s immaculately maintained bird’s nest Russell Crowe. Although he won a Best Actor Oscar from a total of three nominations, he has not been nominated at all since 2002.

Everyone knows how much the Academy loves people who play other people — especially when it comes to prosthetics — but the gladiator Veteran just isn’t even interested in entertaining the idea.

It would be a controversial performance to say the least, especially if half the United States got blood pumping at the mere thought. On the other hand, one might imagine the MAGA mob would be far happier if a company like the film department of Ben Shapiro’s The Daily Wire stepped in to spearhead the project, but we’d much rather see it for free in the hands of A24 than shit and giggle.

A slow-burning psychological horror would certainly tick more than a few boxes based on the steady stream of revelations coming down the pipeline, but heaven forbid anyone even considers a sex scene. Russell Crowe drops out of the inevitable Donald Trump biopic

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