A woman whose relationship dilemma went viral on Reddit shared an update with the platform. Unfortunately it is not a happy one.
In July, user u/ThrowRavin was heartbroken after her husband admitted he was in love with her sister – despite his wife being six months pregnant at the time.
In a post on the TrueOffMyChest forums, the woman said her husband confessed his feelings while he was drunk. Her sister’s boyfriend had proposed to the couple on a double date at a restaurant. Upon returning home, the poster found her “tipped” husband crying in the living room.
“I asked him what was going on and he told me that he has been in love with my sister for years but that he knows how wrong that is,” she wrote. “He told me that [he] loved me very much and promised to be a good husband and father to our daughter.”
More than friends”
A 2018 University of Colorado study found that extramarital affairs are most likely to occur with someone the person knows well. Using data from the General Social Survey, researchers discovered that 53.5 percent of adulterers cheated with someone close to them, such as a boyfriend.
About 29.4 percent admitted to sleeping with a co-worker, neighbor or longtime acquaintance, while the remainder reported having sex outside of marriage with someone they happened to know.
They also found that married men are more likely to cheat than women, with 21 percent of men and 13 percent of women admitting to having been unfaithful at some point in their lives.
“I cried for a week”
Since that night, the poster’s husband seems to have changed his mind about the “good husband and father” part. Instead, he decided to move to another city and cut ties with his wife and child.
“We’re getting a divorce,” she said in her update. “And he doesn’t want anything to do with our daughter.”
After the first confession, her husband said he wanted to make things work and didn’t tell her sister because he was “embarrassed”. The couple decided to make a fresh start in a new city where her husband had a better job offer. Her sister was “disturbed” by her sister’s decision to move away, but was supportive. However, the sister had her own news to share.
“After her vacation she came home and told me everything. She was pregnant and she was glowing and that was the reason for this sudden engagement,” she said.
“Her fiancé wants to get married before the baby [is] born. She asked me to keep it a secret because she was waiting for the second trimester to make the announcement.”
The poster said she “cried for a whole week” after the news while her husband stayed in the other city to “sign a lease on a new apartment.” When he found out about her sister’s pregnancy, her drunk husband called her and asked if it was true.
She wrote: “He called me a cruel liar for not telling him. He said it was so unfair.
“[That] My sister’s fiancé was a loser and he didn’t deserve her (her fiancé is a carpenter and my sister is a pediatrician) and he told me he needed to be alone for a while so he turned off his phone.
“On Friday he texted me that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore and he doesn’t want to be in my daughter’s life anymore. If I agree to relieve him of his responsibilities as a father, he will leave the house to me.”
The husband told her sister that he was coming to visit and forced the poster to tell her everything.
“I told her Lucas would call and ask to meet her, probably to tell her he loves her. [O]Maybe something more sinister, so she needs to stay away from him,” she said.
“Her fiancé was on the edge of his seat with anger. My sister just cried and apologized and tried to hug me and stroke my hair.
“I told my sister I wanted to be one [on] my own for a while and that I didn’t want to have contact with any of them.”
After telling her husband that her sister and fiancé knew everything and were unhappy with him, he called and apologized for scaring her sister, but didn’t ask about his wife or the baby.
“My sister wrote to me later that she loves me and would avoid me if I wanted to, but not to go through with my plans to move,” she said.
“She needs me and she would do anything to make it up to me. I did not answer. I hate when she’s so perfect and kind.”
Since posting on Aug. 14, the update has garnered nearly 13,000 upvotes and 1,300 comments from Reddit users, many warning the wife of her husband’s worrisome behavior.
“Your husband is crazy. I’m not sure what he’s expecting,” said ImagineSnapDragons.
“I’m guessing he’s throwing in an Hail Mary to get her to leave her fiancé to ride into the sunset with him. I don’t see this working out the way he’s probably hoping for.”
Thebeachsucks agreed, writing, “Unstable men become obsessed with something they can’t have and become hyper-fixated on what they think they want, even when they have amazing things ahead of them.”
“You are absolutely one of the most dangerous people there is, especially when you’re the object of her infatuation.”
Spectrum2081 commented, “Please don’t let your future ex poison your relationship with your sister.
“She’s ‘nice and perfect,’ and that’s the kind of love and support you deserve.”
news week contacted u/ThrowRavin for comment. We have not been able to verify the details of the case.
Has infidelity broken your trust in your partner? Let us know at firstname.lastname@example.org. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
https://www.newsweek.com/shock-man-tells-wife-free-dad-duties-loves-sister-reddit-1733543 Shock when a man tells his wife to “release” him from his father’s duties since he loves her sister