Should you get back with your ex? As Maya Jama and Stormzy rekindle their relationship, a psychologist reveals the secret to rekindling an old flame (and when to move on!)

Maya Jama and Stormzy rocked the world last Sunday when they confirmed their relationship was back after four years apart.

The pair were spotted holding hands as they ventured to the Greek island of Hydra – their first public appearance together since their split in 2019.

But the sight of two lovebirds raised an age-old question: Should you ever be with your ex again?

While the likes of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck have managed to rekindle the romance, others like Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are showing that it’s not always a success.

So what does it take to bring love back to life after heartbreak? MailOnline spoke to a psychologist to find out.

Stormzy and Maya Jama have been spotted hand in hand on the Greek island of Hydra

What should you consider before getting back together with an ex?

Stormzy and Maya broke up in 2019 amid rumors that the rapper had cheated on her with singer Jorja Smith.

While Stormzy has always denied infidelity, Maya claimed he learned some hard lessons about his “disrespectful” behavior.

Without knowing the details, it’s difficult to make a full judgment on the couple’s rekindled relationship.

But in general, says psychologist Dr. Louise Goddard-Crawley that there are a few things to consider before getting back together with an ex.

“There’s a general way of thinking about whether you should ever get back with an ex by considering things like our attachment styles and dynamics, the way we communicate and deal with conflict, our motivations for reuniting , personal growth, external influences, long-term relationships, etc. are taken into account. “Long-term goals, trust in the relationship, the ability to forgive, resilience, coping mechanisms, and how we prioritize self-care,” she said.

“Examining these patterns on both sides of the relationship would help shed light on the psychological aspects of whether the decision to get back together is healthy.”

dr Crawley asserts that there are four attachment styles to consider, including secure, fearful, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant types.

“Secure” attachment is the ultimate goal of every couple and refers to the ability to form loving relationships characterized by trust, acceptance, and intimacy.

Maya Jama and Stormzy rocked the world on Sunday after confirming their relationship was back after four years

The couple dated for four years before splitting in 2019, with the rapper publicly declaring he “never loved anyone like I loved her.”

But the other three are fraught with problems: “anxious” attachment is linked to fears of abandonment, “avoidance” is linked to intimacy issues, and “anxious avoidance” is a mixture of both.

Although nobody is perfect, Dr. Crawley that being aware of our own Achilles heel can provide a helpful fresh perspective in planning the repair of past relationships.

“Our attachment styles play an important role in how people behave and interact in romantic relationships,” continued Dr. Crawley away.

“These styles have roots in early life experiences with caregivers and affect emotional intimacy, communication, conflict resolution, and overall relationship dynamics.” If we’re always just doing a piece of work around ourselves and our relationships; that’s the one.’

Will you break up for the same reason as before?

Following their split in 2019, Stormzy issued a grand apology to Maya in his chart hit Lessons.

In heartfelt lyrics, the rapper says, “I knew a more wonderful woman than a Disney woman. ‘I lost my heart, I was just wondering if you could give me one?’

He later adds, “My nephew is still asking about his aunt Maya.” I guess that’s karma for what I did to Maya.”

Following their split in 2019, Stormzy issued a grand apology to Maya in his chart hit Lessons.

dr Crawley claims that this kind of self-awareness is key to avoiding repeating history with exes.

While this includes an awareness of your attachment style and your Achilles heel, couples can go much further by reflecting on their personal boundaries.

“A mutually agreed understanding of the motivation for a reunion is key,” said Dr. Crawley.

“Is it driven by a genuine desire to work on the relationship and grow together, or are external factors influencing a decision?”

“Maybe we’ll also think about what the individuals have been working on since the break.”

“Personal growth as a unit can have a tremendously positive impact on a relationship by increasing awareness, relationship triggers and emotional maturity.”

Do you love your ex or are you just lonely?

The distinction between love and loneliness can be difficult.

But by writing down your personal values ​​and what you expect from a partner, you can clarify whether a relationship is right for you.

“Loneliness can often trigger strong emotions, making it difficult to think rationally about potential partners,” said Dr. Crawley.

“A genuine desire to be with someone tends to be more consistent and stable, and not just based on fluctuating emotional states.”

“Personally, I was pleased with the reconciliation between Maya Jama and Stormzy,” summarized Dr. Crawley together

dr Crawley explains that loneliness can often lead people to seek external validation and relief from emotional discomfort, which isn’t the way to start a relationship over again.

“We see that loneliness can lead to idealizing potential partners and imagining relationships that may not correspond to reality,” she added.

“A genuine desire to be with someone often comes from emotional maturity and the ability to make a positive contribution to a relationship.”

So, should you get back together with your ex?

Despite efforts to self-reflect, getting back together with an ex remains a difficult decision.

dr Crawley believes your final answer should depend on it personal circumstances and growth.

“Personally, I was pleased with the reconciliation between Maya Jama and Stormzy,” summarized Dr. Crawley together.

“I like how they reflect the complex nature of human relationships and our potential for personal growth and change.”

“We break up in relationships for a variety of reasons, and if we choose to reunite, it can be a sign that we’re ready to address our underlying issues and work towards mutual understanding and a resolution.”

“Psychologically, the reunion could signify a desire for emotional connection and the importance of shared history and positive memories.”

“It could also reflect the power of forgiveness and the ability to move forward, mature and learn from past mistakes.”