A woman is blasted online for telling her sister to dress up for a fancy night out – only for the “fine restaurant” to become a dive bar where everyone else is wearing jeans and t-shirts.
Writing for the popular Reddit r/AmITeA**hole forum, u/beepboophaboop received over 7,000 upvotes and 400 comments for her post: “[Am I the A**hole] because I asked my sister for a dress code after she embarrassed me at a public family dinner?”
The original poster (OP) says that she usually dresses casually – often jeans and a sweater – but isn’t a slob, just “a normal person”. She says she wore her standard outfit to a dinner at her sister’s, and her outfit wasn’t out of place. Everyone else wore the same clothes.
But after dinner her sister organizes another family party and repeatedly tells u/beepboophaboop to dress up since they are going to a fancy restaurant.
“So I walk the nine yards, makeup, nice dress, heels, do my hair, jewelry, etc. I show up and it’s a freaking DIVE BAR. Everyone else INCLUDED my sister was in, get this: jeans and t-shirts,” u/beepboopshaloop wrote. “I looked like a fucking idiot in a fucking Calvin Klein bodycon dress dressed to the nines.”
Although she was furious at being put in the position of standing in a pub in her best clothes, she says the other family members pretended not to notice. As the night wore on, the OP called her sister for lying – especially since she was wearing the same thing the OP wore to the first dinner – her sister only saying that instead of dressing like a bum, she “looked good for once.”
In retaliation, u/beepboophaboop asked her sister for an explicit dress code for each event. Her parents said she’s taking it too far, but her other siblings are on her side and think it’s “pretty damn funny because they had to deal with her too.”
While Oscar Wilde argued, “You can never be overdressed or overeducated,” when someone is overdressed for a very casual event — say, at a bar — they feel embarrassed and alienated. While it’s generally considered better to be overdressed than underdressed for an event, it’s still uncomfortable.
For those who show up overdressed, fashion site Swirlster offers a few tips. Even if the event planner says one thing, it can be helpful to ask other people who are coming to the event what they will be wearing; even if everyone else is wrong about the nature of the event, at least everyone will be wrong together. If that’s not an option, try to have a more casual accessory on hand – Swirlster recommends a denim jacket.
Redditors have redacted u/beepboophaboop hard.
“[Not the A**hole]. Why is she even interested in how you look?” wrote u/mrlesterkanopf in the top rated comment with over 10,000 upvotes. “She must be given a life.”
“Maybe she should have worn a marinara or alfredo sweater instead,” wrote u/OkayKatniss413, referencing another popular r/AmITeA**hole post.
“I’m picky enough that if this happened to me, I would start wearing formal attire to all family gatherings that the sister is present at. Had to buy goodwill and all prom dresses! We are ridiculous rhinestone jewelry! And if someone asks you why you’re dressed like that, just tell them you’re trying to make your sister proud of you. And you hope you think they look good enough for their standards,” suggested u/MamaBearsApron.
“[Not the A**hole] Why do they ask about the dress code? Just let her know that you’ll get your revenge when the time comes. Even if it takes years,” wrote u/gastropodia42.
news week asked u/beepboophaloop for a comment.
https://www.newsweek.com/sister-slammed-making-woman-dress-formal-dinner-dive-bar-1711858 Sister banged on for making wife dress for ‘formal dinner’ at dive bar