Members of a popular internet forum supported a woman who revealed why she refused to get a tattoo of her late niece despite her sister’s strict demands.
In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITeA**hole, Redditor u/Academic_Try_4856 (aka Original Poster or OP) said she offered to honor her sister’s daughter with a different tattoo, but under fire because she had even considered anything other than originally suggested.
Captioned: “[Am I the a**hole] because I refused to get a tattoo from my late niece?” the post received almost 5,000 upvotes and 1,500 comments in the last day.
“A while back, my sister lost…her baby daughter,” OP began. “To deal with her grief, she decided to get a large, photorealistic tattoo of the baby and has asked that everyone in our immediate family … do the same.”
The original poster went on to explain that she “just can’t pull off the tattoo” and described her hesitation, noting her phobia of needles and her rejection of religious imagery in her sister’s proposed design.
The original poster also said that despite the high cost of tattoos for her sister, she proposed her own design idea, but it was met with anger and spite.
“[My sister] added some religious imagery to the design (she’s a devout catholic) and since she’s an atheist…I just don’t feel comfortable having that on me,” the OP wrote.[And] The tattoo is VERY LARGE so it will take several hours if not several sessions.
“The baby was named after a flower…so I offered to get a small bouquet of that flower tattooed instead to still honor and support the baby.” [my sister] without having to get the big, expensive tattoo,” OP continued. “She was very upset and called me selfish and said that her feelings as a grieving mother take precedence over mine…so I should feel privileged to have the tattoo and that I’m a terrible person for fighting with her, while she mourns.
“Obviously I understand her point of view, but I also don’t feel that her loss, horrific as it is, gives her any right or say over my body,” OP added.
For some, tattoos are an integral form of self-expression and encourage ownership of their personal identity.
For others, tattoos are the complete opposite, seen negatively and completely forbidden in some cultures.
In 2019, a survey by market research firm Ipsos found that 30 percent of people in the United States have at least one tattoo, a 9 percent increase from 2012.
Of those inked, the Ipsos survey also found that the majority of people only have two tattoos, and that Americans under the age of 55 are twice as likely to have a tattoo as their older peers.
However, the proliferation of tattoos in the United States has come at a price. While small, simple tattoos can cost anywhere from $50 to $200, beauty and style outlet Byrdie reports that larger designs can hit four figures, with full-sleeve, chest, and back tattoos reaching up to cost $6,000.
Huge price tags, along with the pain associated with being poked by a needle between 50 and 3,000 times a minute, are major deterrents for those undecided about tattoos.
During the viral Reddit post, the original poster expressed both of those concerns, but said she was willing to endure a smaller tattoo to please her sister and late niece.
Unfortunately, that offer wasn’t good enough, and OP was berated for her alternative offer – much to the chagrin of an angry comment section.
“[Not the a**hole]” wrote Redditor u/iMESSupCOMMONphrases in the top comment of the post, which received more than 12,000 upvotes. “I think this photo tattoo is cheesy as hell, but no one can tell you what to do with your body.”
“It is very [egotistical] asking her to honor the child the way she wants,” they added.
Redditor u/Medium_Resort_5225, whose comment received nearly 5,000 upvotes, echoed this sentiment.
“Literally in no shape or form would you be an asshole if you turned down a tattoo,” they affirmed.
“Even considering her grief and insisting that someone else permanently tag her body is completely off the mark,” Redditor interjected u/unusualteapot, receiving almost 2,000 upvotes.
news week asked u/Academic_Try_4856 for a comment.
https://www.newsweek.com/sister-defended-refusing-get-very-large-tattoo-late-niece-1741703 Sister defends for refusing to get ‘very large’ tattoo of late niece