South Park: The Streaming Wars ends – [Spoiler] Return in the special

South Park becomes a battleground for the streaming wars in his latest Paramount+ special, a 48-minute journey through corporate greed, breast implants and thinly veiled metaphors.

South Park streaming warsThe trouble begins when a drought — caused, of course, by ManBearPig — forces the city of Denver to cut water usage, causing residents and business owners to fret. How will they maintain their beautiful, green lawns? How will they keep their fancy golf courses open? And most importantly, how will Pi-Pi’s Splashtown, whose entire business model is explicitly based on a 50/50 mix of water and pee, survive in this oppressive climate? (Oh how I missed the pi-pi.)

On behalf of his constituents (but not really), the city’s water commissioner pays a visit to South Park, where he convinces Tolkien’s father to lease some of the water from his creek to Denver companies, creating the city’s first – wait You it — streaming service. To prove that the creek flows regularly from Credigree Farms to Denver’s water supply, Steven hires Tolkien and Kyle to build him popsicle boats for $20 apiece, aka content, to attract potential subscribers to the streaming service to win.

Meanwhile, Randy – who initially dislikes being called “Karen” before eventually accepting it as his new identity – refuses to take part in the streaming wars. (“This farm is about Tegridy, not stupid water rights!” says Karen.) But when he learns that Steven “has gotten creative people to put things on his stream,” Karen also hires Stan and Tolkien to build boats for the Tegridy Farm streaming service.

South Park streaming warsOK, that’s where Cartman comes in – and it’s even more of an offbeat disaster than you’d expect. After performing a nice number about how much he hates living in a hot dog, he discovers that a Denver millionaire named Cussler is building a mansion across the street. He immediately plans to move in, but his plan falters when he remembers his mother lacks what rich men love most: big fake breasts. Not only is Mrs. Cartman rightly offended by her son’s demand that she get breast implants, but even if she did, where would she possibly get $10,000?

Well, coincidentally, the boys’ boat building business is booming. And when Cartman says his mom “needs money for an operation,” they naturally rally to help him. The fact that Cussler is offering them an exclusive $15,000 deal to make boats his The new streaming service is just Kismet.

With so much performance expected from the boys in a very short space of time, the quality of their boats is starting to suffer, but Butters doesn’t think the streaming services will be overly concerned. As he says: “They will take everything they can get. Everyone knows that at the end of the day it’s just something like that three streaming services. Everyone just wants their stuff on their stream and then get bought, you know? And they don’t ask themselves how good something is. And the people who made all the deals don’t give af-k because they’re all going to get fired anyway, you know?

South Park’s streaming industry becomes even more unstable when snow levels on the mountain tops begin to drop, again blamed on ManBearPig. Steven realizes that someone (maybe Cussler?) bought the entire mountain estate to become top dog. As he puts it, “When it comes to streaming wars, I intend to be the Amazon.”

Karen discovers that Stan also produced boats for Cussler, but when he takes his son to the mogul’s mansion, they are told that ManBearPig has already killed him.

Meanwhile, the drought poses a major threat to Credigree Farms, forcing Steven to take back the water rights he leased to Pi-Pi. And that’s where the truth comes out: Not only is Pi-Pi the one who bought up all the mountain lots, he was also in league with ManBearPig and the Inspector the whole time. And when Steven tries to speak up, he gets disemboweled and thrown out the window; Even Tolkien doesn’t know what became of his father when the special ends.

But three is a lot, so it’s not long before Pi-Pi orders ManBearPig to kill the Commissioner as well. After all, they can’t let him interfere with their plan to push the drought to the point where people need to start using urine (of which he has plenty!) for things like cooking and bathing. “Only a psychopath would accelerate climate change for his own benefit!” says the inspector just before he dies.

South Park streaming warsAgain, where is Cartman while all of this is happening? Of course, he gets the breast implants his mother turned down, even after he was kind enough to surprise her with a trip to the plastic surgeon’s office. It’s… quite a sight.

The special ends with a chilling montage of everyone in Colorado consuming the water supply, unaware of the piss-smelling hell that will eventually come their way.

Did you like it The streaming wars? Do you think Cartman’s new boobs are canon, or will they never be spoken of again? What became of Tolkien’s father? And which beloved character were you looking forward to more, Pi-Pi or ManBearPig? Then rate the special below Leave a comment with your full rating. South Park: The Streaming Wars ends – [Spoiler] Return in the special

Lindsay Lowe

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