In a now viral post, a woman said she wants her unemployed husband to live with his parents until he finds a job.
Posting on Reddit’s “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) forum under a disposable account, the woman said her husband quit his job two months ago but still hasn’t started looking for a replacement, so she all have to pay their expenses on their own. The post has garnered over 16,000 upvotes and nearly 3,000 comments in which the wife criticizes a husband’s “lazy mooch.”
Why couples fight
A study led by Lauren Papp, associate dean of research at the University of Madison-Wisconsin’s School of Human Ecology, found that money, housework, and work are the most common causes of tension between married couples.
According to Fatherly, about 18 percent of husbands surveyed said their arguments were related to expenses, salaries, and bills, compared to over 19 percent of wives. Though those percentages may not seem huge, Fatherly said fights over finances are “emotionally charged fights that last longer and are resolved less often.”
“Differences about money are universal,” Papp told Fatherly. “All couples have to make decisions about spending and saving, and there’s a lot of potential for two people to bring different past experiences, different expectations, and different behaviors around money.”
Additionally, 19.3 percent of husbands and 18.9 percent of wives reported arguing with their spouses about each other’s work, and a whopping 25.1 percent of husbands and 24.1 percent of wives reported arguing about household chores to argue.
Based on the information she’s shared, the Redditor and her husband don’t seem to agree on any of these issues.
In her post, the woman said her husband “reduced his working hours” shortly after their marriage.
“He explained that I made a lot of money for both of us so he could only work part time and do the chores around the house while I was the main breadwinner … I didn’t say anything as it felt fair,” she wrote.
However, her husband quickly stopped helping around the house, and in June he quit his job altogether.
“I’m making a decent amount of money, but I’m not ready to pay rent, bills, groceries, insurance, [etc.]… I started paying for his evenings, paying him money for trips to job searches, etc., while assuming he was looking for a new job,” she said.
But when she finally confronted her husband about the job search, he said he wasn’t looking for one.
“I was furious that he lied to me and told him I didn’t want him in my house right now… My in-laws understand to a degree but call me an asshole because I didn’t want to come back home.” until he gets a job,” she concluded, adding that her husband thinks she’s an asshole too.
Commenters called the Redditor’s husband a “grumpy” and urged her to dump him.
“Don’t let him back in the house unless you want a lazy roommate who doesn’t pay rent,” said u/soundslikemahnamahna.
“Your husband is taking full advantage of you… divorce him. He’s literally dead and you’re better off without him,” wrote u/car55tar5.
“Marriage should be an equal partnership but your husband is clearly taking advantage of you and the situation,” commented u/Ownerofthelonelyhrts. “You signed up for marriage, not to raise another child.”
Redditor u/MissyBee63 added, “Sorry honey, he’ll never hold a full-time job or carry his own weight. Just file for divorce and save yourself decades of frustration.”
news week asked the Redditor for a comment.
Other viral moments
Commentators on Wednesday applauded a woman who kicked her husband out of the delivery room for playing games on his cellphone.
On Monday, commenters supported a partner who snapped at her boyfriend for wanting some alone time on his day off.
And on Friday, Redditors blasted a housewife for refusing to take a job to pay her family’s bills.
https://www.newsweek.com/wife-backed-wanting-unemployed-husband-live-parents-viral-reddit-1735025 Supporting wife because she wanted unemployed husband to live with his parents