Internet commentators were quick to call out to an expectant mother who wants her parents close after the birth of her son — but not too close.
In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITeA**hole, Redditor u/babyindecemberaita (aka the original poster or OP) said she was due in December and asked her aging parents to go to a nearby one instead Hotel or Airbnb to stay of the house they sold her – to be available for their newest grandchild.
Captioned: “[Am I the a**hole] for wanting my parents in town but not at home while I adjust to life with a newborn?” The post has received nearly 10,000 upvotes and more than 3,000 comments in the last 10 hours.
“I have a great relationship with my parents,” OP began. “But they got me pretty late in life and they’re both retired now and living in a beach town in the [south].”
The original poster went on to explain that she bought her childhood home when they moved and said she agreed to accommodate her parents free of charge whenever they visited. The original poster also stated that when her baby arrives, she would like her parents nearby to help with the newborn.
However, the apartment will be left to them.
“I spoke to my mom about the birth and mentioned that I want her to be in town… and stay for a few weeks,” the OP wrote. “I would love for my parents to come here and help around the house with the baby and give me the emotional support I know I will need.
“She said it would be fine for her to stay with us for a few weeks…[but] I then told her I didn’t mean her to stay with us, just in town,” OP continued. “My mom was a little offended … and [my dad] said that accommodations [are] it gets really expensive at this time of year.
“It had been our agreement when they sold me the house that they could stay whenever … I just don’t want them in the house,” OP added. “But I want them in town and I’m a little sad that they put money over me and their grandson.”
For a segment of new and expectant mothers, there is no one better able to demonstrate the ropes of motherhood than their own.
The first few weeks of parenthood can be stressful for both mother and child, and according to Stanford Medicine Children’s Health, it’s imperative that new moms have support systems in place to ensure everything goes as smoothly and healthily as possible.
“Meeting a newborn’s constant needs takes time and energy,” states Stanford Medicine’s website. “Responders can be family, friends, or a paid home care provider. A family member such as the newborn’s grandmother or aunt may be able to come for a few days or more.”
Although family members can provide much-needed assistance, the lines between new mothers and new grandparents often blur and become a point of contention for both sides.
As a result, parenting website Very Well Family reports that some new parents are reluctant to let relatives near their newborn shortly after birth for fear of court action, fussy in-laws and unwanted interference.
In the viral Reddit post, the original poster said she only has a handful of older cousins and that her fiancé has no relationship with his family, making her parents the only relatives available to help.
However, throughout the comments section of the viral post, Redditors criticized the original poster for expecting their parents to pay for it.
“You are [not the a**hole] for wanting privacy with your husband while adjusting to being a parent, but [you’re the a**hole] for asking your parents to come but stay in a hotel without paying,” wrote Redditor u/Most_Duck4260 in the top comment of the post, which received nearly 25,000 upvotes.
“Unfortunately, you can’t have your cake and eat it, too,” they added. “The desire for support is understandable, but … asking them to foot the bill is unreasonable.”
Redditor u/SamSpayedPI, whose comment received almost 10,000 upvotes, echoed this opinion.
“Either let her stay with you or pay for her hotel/B&B/whatever yourself,” they wrote. “I’m not saying you’re an asshole for not wanting house guests when you have a new baby, just that you can’t demand that they come visit for an extended period of time… but insist that they keep for themselves.” pay for yourself .”
“Have you forgotten who’s doing who? [favor]?”, Redditor asked u/HopeByTheThroat and received more than 7,000 upvotes.
news week contacted u/babyindecemberaita for comment.
https://www.newsweek.com/expecting-mom-called-out-demanding-parents-pay-help-baby-1739181 The expectant mother demanded money from the parents to help with the baby