The White Lotus Recap: Season 2 Episode 4 – “In the Sandbox”

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The merry-go-round of sexual adventures is officially spiraling out of control The White Lotusand at this rate someone will get hurt.

At the start of Sunday’s episode, Cameron shoves Lucia and Mia out of his room after their wild night and he doesn’t even have enough cash to pay them. He promises to leave the rest later at the reception. Harper calls Ethan and realizes something is wrong: “You sound weird.” While Dom goes to buy a nice present for his estranged wife, Portia apologizes to Albie for dumping him the night before . All she has to do is get rid of Tanya (“It’s been a lot”), and then she can hang out tonight, she says. Meanwhile, Tanya befriends a gay Englishman named Quentin (Tom Hollander), who describes her fashion sense as “so chic” and invites her to the beach club for a cocktail with him and his friends. And since Greg’s gone, why not?

Lucia is exhausted and starting to feel guilty about her work (“All whores end up being punished,” she says), but Mia kind of liked it. Spotting Albie and Bert by the pool, they sneak into Bert’s room for a quick shower. Cameron swears to Ethan about last night’s secrecy (“Bro Code”), and Daphne does the same to Harper for talking about Cameron’s cheating methods. However, she believes she can trust Harper: “Besides, you don’t know anyone.” Bert goes back to his room and enters Lucia and Mia, catching Mia shirtless before they run out apologetically. Tanya drags Portia to meet Quentin at the beach club, where he is joined by several flamboyant friends – and also his “naughty nephew” Jack, aka the hottie Portia used to flirt with at the pool. Interesting!

Jack is a charmer, and he’s also just happy to meet a girl since he’s a straight guy who’s surrounded by gays all day. While offering Portia some fun, Albie reserves her a seat by the water… and looks up to see her flirting with Jack. Lucia and Mia try to sit next to Albie, but he tells them he’s reserving that seat. Quentin gives Tanya a shoulder to cry on about Greg and invites her to tell him the whole story from the beginning. (Her answer? “Well, I was born in San Francisco.”) Harper goes back to the hotel room and tells Ethan all about how Daphne and Cameron’s marriage is fake and he’s cheating on her all the time: “Compared to them, we’re good.” However, Ethan is still throwing up from last night, and as Harper sits on the couch, she finds a condom sleeve in the pillows. Uh-oh.

Quentin assures Tanya, “You’re too fabulous to be that sad,” while Albie marches right up to her, interrupting Portia’s conversation with Jack. Portia claims she doesn’t have to worry about Tanya, but tells Albie she’ll catch up with him later – yes, right – so Albie has to have lunch with Dom and Bert, and scoffs when Dom shows him the jewelry he owns wife bought: “You can’t just buy people, Dad.” Harper sits mute and angry at lunch with Ethan, Cameron and Daphne, still thinking about the condom wrapper, while Mia decides they’ll “just fuck the piano player should” to help her career. Lucia tries to stop her, but she’s inspired… and Lucia goes back to Albie’s deckchair and strikes up a conversation with the lonely boy.

Piano player Giuseppe happily accepts her offer and they race to an abandoned church on the property to perform the deed, but he is unable to perform. So Mia runs off to get Lucia’s Viagra, only she doesn’t know which pill is which. (She tries to ask Lucia, but she’s busy swimming with Albie.) So Mia just grabs some pills and gives Giuseppe two to take. We already said “oh-oh”, right? Harper presses Ethan on what really happened last night, but he says they just got really drunk and were talking to random people at the bar. Tanya and Portia meet Quentin and his friends for dinner, and Jack offers to show Portia his new underwear later. Meanwhile, Giuseppe struggles while the pills work… and he collapses to the ground. Yeah, that probably wasn’t Viagra.

An ambulance screeches to carry Giuseppe away and Mia offers to sing in his place, but Valentina tells her to back off. (She also gives co-worker Isabella a starfish pin as a gift, which she suggestively pins to her jacket. Hmmm.) Albie buys Lucia and Mia drinks at the bar while Portia and Jack drink at the other end of the bar, which is a bit weird . It gets worse when Jack and Portia start kissing, so Lucia says “don’t let her win” and kisses Albie. Dom retires to his room early to watch porn on his laptop, and Harper grills Ethan one more time before demonstratively leaving the condom wrapper on the bathroom counter while Jack models his underwear for Portia before climbing into bed with her . Oh, and Lucia goes back to Albie’s room and thanks him for spending the day with her.

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