The world population just hit 8 billion and all eyes are on Nick Cannon

The world population just hit 8 billion and all eyes are on Nick Cannon

Photo by Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images

The United Nations has officially confirmed that the Earth’s population has met 8 billion people in its diverse landscape with billions of individual stories. But more than a handful of them are somehow related Nick Cannon.

Multi-talented comedian, rapper, and seemingly biblical Adam-like character Cannon has given birth or is expecting to give birth to at least twelve children on this godless planet, and the internet is now looking straight for Cannon to reach the 8 billion word.

This year alone, Cannon has seen four of his children who were born in December. It’s almost as if Cannon sees reproduction as a challenge because he’s pumping it out in a way no one else can or wants to. If there’s anyone out there who isn’t doing No Nut November, it’s Cannon.

What Cannon plans for his many children is up for debate. Perhaps he wants to take on the mighty pedigree of the British royal family, or, even more prestigiously, the 36 current heirs of King Mswati III. by Eswatini, whom he produced from 15 wives. Polygamy is legal and encouraged by members of the Eswatini royal family, while Cannon now seems to only do it to annoy people.

Cannon’s children are descended from six different women, perhaps the most notable being the Queen of Christmas herself, Mariah Carey. The couple had two children together, although it had been 11 years since he last “worked together” with Carey on another “project.”

We wish the future Cannon dynasty every success as it inevitably takes over the world. The world population just hit 8 billion and all eyes are on Nick Cannon

Lindsay Lowe

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