Why Do Succession Characters Have TV’s Most Bizarre Names?

For the next few weeks, I’ll be banished from my own living room every Sunday night at 9 p.m. Eastern Time. This is finally the time that successor is airing on HBO and I’m banned from watching it with my boyfriend as I’ll spend the entire episode making fun of the characters’ names. We’re a couple who never argue, but when I start on his favorite prestige TV show, I’m shot in the heart with a stare so cold it might as well be the icicle that impaled Sandra Oh Grey’s anatomy.

For an hour I’m banished to my bedroom like a child on downtime. But even there, in my sweet echo chamber, I’m not safe from that successor beehive. Fifteen minutes before an episode starts and for up to two hours after it ends, every Twitter user is inevitably subjected to a barrage of tweets about Kendall, Roman, Logan, Shiv and everyone else on this show going by a completely false name. You can suggest that I put down my phone and pick up a book to solve this problem. I suggest you get real!

I’ve already tried everything possible to avoid endless scrolling of nonsensical character name-focused tweets, but it’s just a dream forever unattainable. There was a time last year when I thought, “Well, if I can’t beat her, I’ll just have to go along with it.” On the twentieth Crash-Zoom of the pilot, I had to drop out. Doomed to be an outsider forever, all I’ve learned successor is not my own choice. And yet I know so, so much. Because even if you don’t see the show, it’s impossible not know when someone is talking about it, thanks to each character’s absolutely ridiculous name.

Before we break it down, let me state the obvious: I’m fully aware that each character’s name is on it successor should be rude and not normal. It’s a show about upper crust billionaires who keep stabbing each other in the back. It would be weird if everyone had a name like the average guy on the street. (According to my synopsis, the only Johns or Joes to have appeared on the show are minor characters who only appear in one episode.) Still, it’s like seeing a new one of these bizarre names on my social media pages every Sunday night. Feeds up like a clock through a punch in the cheek. when i get Creed III-busted, I better get it Creed III-Money for it!

One of the biggest questions I would like to ask successorThe creator of , Jesse Armstrong, would be, “How many old people named Logan do you know?” If Armstrong could provide me with a list of the names of everyone over the age of 65 that he personally knows, I would be eternally grateful. It lasted about two seasons successoris aired to make me realize that Logan Roy is the father of the Roy kids, played by Brian Cox, and not one of the kids. Brian Cox is 76 years old. How many old men named “Logan” do you know, dear reader? This guy has white hair. That’s a “Christopher” at best – I’d even accept shortening that to “Chris” – but actually we’re looking at an “Alfred” or an “Arthur”. My god, I even use “Theodore!”

When I found out it wasn’t just the Logan everyone had been talking about online for years not Jeremy Strong’s character but that Strong’s name on the show is Kendall? Like the Kardashian Jenner?! The shock and awe endure to this day. I’m not sure I’ve experienced anything as pathetic as the legions of online fans who willingly give the heart-eyed soft boy infantilization to a guy named Kendall. And don’t even get me started on Kieran Culkin’s novel. The only person who could get away with naming their child Roman is Francis Ford Coppola, and that’s because he probably had a prophetic vision that he would be the kind of guy who would write a movie Moonrise Kingdom. At least that tracks; a “Roman” would produce Wes Anderson films. No wonder Logan can’t decide who to give the company to. If someone gave me a business card that said “Kendall Roy, CEO,” I would give my money elsewhere.

All of this only gets weirder when confronted with the show’s tertiary characters, who seem to be countless and show up without warning. From a perspective successor Alien, it’s even more confusing to be exposed to the fanbase’s frantic tweets about these people. Just as I’ve established that “Shiv” and “Siobhan” are the same person, I have to deal with a torrent of gossip about someone named “Willa”. I’m just a gay man of a certain age, so I assumed everyone would have rediscovered “I Wanna Be Bad” by pop one-hit wonder Willa Ford. Not long after, I thought, correctly, that everyone shouting “Stewy!” had something to do with the current family Guy Revival.

This phenomenon would be far less aggravating if successor Fans had the common sense to at least tweet with context. Or, by God, at least a hashtag I could mute! I’m often presented with Twitter memes without a hint of framing, then I have to figure out who the hell Naomi Pierce is. I’m enjoying a fabulous late night coffee and am suddenly inundated with the same screenshot of a successor Character with a new haircut 20 times in a row. Is Naomi Pierce the name of a character or the actress who plays her? Nobody will tell me. It’s a secret.

A quick search of my beloved Internet Movie Database reminded me that other characters in this series are named Delta Pike, Iverson, Bun, and Doddy. I’m convinced that Jesse Armstrong takes an ayahuasca trip before writing any script and then brings character names from the next dimension. These are not personal names! Everything is just so slightly bastardized by a real person’s name, which justifiably makes me feel like I’m having a stroke just to understand what the heck is happening successor from week to week. It’s not just because the events of the series are so exaggerated and wild, but also because the characters’ names all feel parodic at first.

The great thing about it is that even though I’m on this never-ending road to doom, it’s given me my new favorite game: this successor Name generator guaranteed to annoy the respected TV fanatic in your life. Choose an innocuous photo of a random person – such as this photo of Dancing Moms Actress Kelly Hyland– and send it to a member of the successor Beehive, with a caption like “Can you believe Tallifer and Cousin Lismore are teaming up against Logan to take over the company?”

It’s endless fun. Choose Your Misnamed Venom: Grandpa Scoot, Jacob Kendler, Uncle MacLunway, Kindi, Barbria, the Soytar Twins, Waylo Jones; They call it! Heck, my own name isn’t much better – you have my permission to use it! What’s the worst that will happen? If you’re like me, you’ve already been expelled successor time anyway. Haters, stand firm!