Why the twins’ father is refusing to fund his son’s college: ‘Favouritism’

The internet has slammed a father for “showing affection” to his daughter after he pushed his son towards financial goals he set as a child.

In a post on Reddit’s popular AmITeA***** (AITA) forum, user u/throwRA_saveyodalla explained how he got into a fight with his ex-wife and son over the difference in their children’s college funds .

“My ex-wife and I have been divorced for 7 years now. We have twins, both 17. My wife and I are the stereotype of high school sweethearts. I’m more of a geek. She was a cheerleader. My son comes after my wife and my daughter comes after me,” the Redditor wrote. “When they were younger, I gave them the opportunity to get an allowance. They could either spend the money on whatever they wanted or I could guide them through investments and savings.”

Initially, both children agreed to learn how to invest their money. Each child received a set amount of money and began looking into investing and saving.

Teen boy with money
This file photo shows a teenager counting cash and (inset) a piggy bank labeled “College.” A father on Reddit is being questioned after failing to give his son money for college.
Motortion/designer491/Getty Images

“My son put his in a very risky investment against my advice and ended up losing it and within a few weeks decided to stop doing it,” the father said. “My daughter got off to a slow start, but quickly got the hang of it. She played with various investments and companies. She has been positive most weeks.”

But problems had arisen when the co-parents recently discovered that their daughter had significantly more money saved than her brother.

“My daughter has minimalist interests in most things and doesn’t spend much,” the Redditor wrote. “My son, on the other hand, spends most of his money when he gets it. Always wearing new clothes, bought a new, very expensive car on installments, goes out all the time and spends everything he can get.”

With college approaching, the twins are both looking at their financial futures. While the parents had set aside a fixed amount of money for both children’s college education, the money saved now gives the daughter more choices than her brother when it comes to choosing where to go to school. Now the son cannot go to the school he wants to attend because he would have to take out a loan to cover the additional costs.

“I told them they had a choice when he was younger and he wasn’t listening,” the father wrote on Reddit. “I also pointed out that if he had saved his money he could have gone wherever he wanted too. He had to find a job to cover the expenses if he was to leave. And life was about choices.”

But his ex-wife and her side of the family were furious and suggested he help his son with money anyway because he “easily could”.

In thousands of replies, Reddit users have overwhelmingly criticized the man for refusing to help his son.

“I think you’re generally the a******. Right now you have a choice to help your child start their adult life and you’re using it to make some sort of ideological argument rather than helping them,” said one commenter. While another wrote: “You made him fail. You were a shitty parent who allowed a child to make adult decisions with no safety net.”

Far from the first time a college fund has become the subject of online debate, another couple was recently dragged onto AITA for refusing to give their college fund to their daughter because she was not attending grad school.

Christina Curtis, Founder of Curtis Leadership Consulting and author of the new book,Going for Greatness: An Evidence-Based Approach to Achieving Exceptional Outcomes” told news week: “At a younger age, the brain is not fully developed and cannot properly connect the dots between risky decisions and the consequences to come. In this case, the father’s lack of safeguards around the children’s investments was likely to be detrimental to both his son’s wallet and his belief in money in the long run.”

But Curtis agreed that talking to kids about money is an important part of parenting.

“Teaching children the importance of making money, saving and investing is an important life lesson that many parents miss — and it’s never too early to start. I applaud this father’s commitment to instilling these skills in his children at an early age. Until they reach the right age, but it’s important to keep the process safe with no long-term consequences,” she said.

“I mean, you treated your children equally. And you are under no obligation to pay for your school,” said another commenter. “But I also don’t think kids should be responsible for making financial decisions that affect their future.”

news week asked u/throwRA_saveyodalla for a comment. We have not been able to verify the details of this case.

Do you have a monetary dilemma? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice and your story could be featured there news week.

https://www.newsweek.com/dad-refuses-give-son-college-money-dragged-favoritism-1792129 Why the twins’ father is refusing to fund his son’s college: ‘Favouritism’

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