A woman is praised for foiling her best friend’s boyfriend’s surprise plan after he put her in an awkward position.
Writing to the popular Reddit forum r/AmITeA**hole – usually stylized “AITA” – u/Fit-Objective704 received over 6,000 upvotes and 800 comments in 13 hours for their post: “AITA? I told my best friend’s boyfriend that he plans to propose to her at my wedding.”
The original poster (OP) says that her best friend “Rita” has been with her boyfriend for three years and he is getting restless about proposing to her. He asked u/Fit-Objective704 for advice on wrestling and other things to make his proposal great.
This isn’t the only wedding in the game. The OP is getting married in two weeks and she has asked Rita to be a bridesmaid. And while Rita’s friend did involve OP in the process, he was reticent about the details of the actual proposal – saying only that it would come as a surprise.
He also asked u/Fit-Objective704 if he could give a speech at their wedding. The request was denied as she found it odd – none of her other friends would speak; only her sister – who is also a maid of honor” and the parents of the bride and groom. This angered him, and he kept urging her to let him speak.
The level of his excitement confused the OP until another bridesmaid broke the secret to her: he was going to give a speech to propose to Rita at her wedding. When she found out, she was horrified and called him immediately, not only “how does he think that’s a good idea,” but that he had the audacity to “just ask, and then I could decide if I was comfortable.” feel it or not.”
“He said he knew I would say no, so he didn’t tell me. This made me even more angry,” u/Fit-Objectives wrote.
She told him not to do anything else or she would uninvite him from the wedding. She says he “literally laughed at my face” and said she wouldn’t uninvite him because he knew she didn’t want to disappoint Rita. He “said my hands were tied and there was nothing I could do about it” as she had to explain to him why he couldn’t come, which spoiled the surprise.
The OP called his bluff and told Rita he wasn’t welcome — not just at the wedding, but anywhere she would be. Rita was furious and kept asking why – eventually saying she wouldn’t go to the wedding unless she was told why. Eventually the OP broke down and told her he would co-opt her marriage to propose.
Rita was mad at her boyfriend for trying to do that stunt – but also at u/Fit-Objective704 for ruining the surprise.
“Rita … said I could just make up a lie about why I dumped him and could tell her the truth after he proposed and now I’ve ruined one of the best surprises of her life,” she wrote. “I feel so bad right now and I don’t know if I did the right thing, but at the same time I believe I was in a lose-lose situation and I would still be blamed even if I made up a lie and that truth will reveal later.” .”
Proposing can be difficult. Sometimes things go beautifully, like when a man proposes to his bookish girlfriend on a scavenger hunt at the library, or a scenic proposal at the Grand Canyon against the natural beauty of the world. But it’s not always perfect — for example, when an overzealous Disney employee interrupts to change locations, the bride-to-be doesn’t realize she’s being proposed, or the prospective groom doesn’t realize a McDonald’s isn’t a romantic is location.
But one of the most important rules is don’t try to overwhelm someone else’s big event. A man proposed at a wedding and was mocked as ‘tacky’ – although in this case it was the bride’s idea. When there’s something big like a wedding or baby shower going on, piggybacking on the event is generally viewed as stealing focus from the one day someone should be able to expect to be the center of attention.
“Someone’s wedding day is a day in the whole year,” etiquette expert Elaine Swann told Lifestyle magazine Really easy. “We have to keep in mind that the couple creates a memorable moment that lasts a lifetime and a marriage proposal should not be part of the one day that the couple has to themselves: let them enjoy it!”
Redditors were similarly offended by Rita’s friend’s plan and agreed that u/Fit-Objective704 had done the right thing.
“[Not the A**hole]” wrote u/RemarkableDonkey21 in the top rated comment with over 11,600 upvotes. “If you hadn’t told her it could have ruined your relationship with her, so you were right about that. He’s the asshole for treating you like shit and not respecting the fact that it’s your wedding.”
“Honestly, you don’t even have to justify it. He laughed in her face and said, ‘You won’t do it because then you would have to tell her why and you wouldn’t dare. I got you by the b**ls’ She didn’t even need Rita to hug because my little ass would have called her right away and told her he wasn’t invited and why and how he did it all and she can do his toxic behavior for ruining that surprise,” agreed u/IcyAdvantage1768.
“Who she SHOULD be angry at is her [boyfriend]who is responsible for… let’s see… 100% of this situation,” wrote u/nutmegisme.
“Nah, both are just trashy at the moment. Who the heck thinks it’s okay to 1) propose a surprise proposal at someone’s wedding; and 2) insisting that there is nothing the bride can do about it and asking her what are they going to do about it?” u/mischaracterised wrote. “[Not the A**hole].”
news week contacted u/Fit-Objective704 for comment.
https://www.newsweek.com/woman-supported-ruining-her-besties-boyfriends-surprise-proposal-plan-1712790 Wife gets support for ruining her best friend’s surprise proposal plan