Members of a popular internet forum were quick to defend a woman who recounted her brutal annihilation of her hypercritical brother-in-law.
In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITeA**hole, Redditor u/Achievementall (aka Original Poster or OP) said she was verbally assaulted at a family dinner and had no choice but to respond Kind of fervor and vitriol.
Captioned: “[Am I the a**hole] for my answer after mine [brother-in-law] told me I’m 35 and still don’t know what I want?”]The post has received almost 9,000 votes and 1,300 comments in the last ten hours.
The original poster wrote that she is the eldest of four and said all of her siblings are married with children, but explained that she has no children and is currently not in a relationship. Despite family pressures to find her “future husband,” the original poster also said that her current lifestyle met her needs and that she no longer bothered with “lies, trust issues, and abuse.”
Yet every time the original poster comes into contact with her sister’s husband, the 35-year-old quickly recalls her family’s displeasure with her life choices.
“My [brother-in-law]…comment on my “status” with every visit. Talking about how I need to find my ‘better half’ and have kids,” the OP wrote. “I usually respond by ignoring him, but he [keeps] to throw more comments publicly.”
When she discovered that her sister’s husband “sleeps all day, [is] unemployed, doesn’t help with childcare… but is also happy to call [shots]’ the original poster said her brother-in-law completely crossed the line at a recent dinner.
“[Brother-in-law] brought up my private life by asking a series of questions about my plans. I tried to ignore him but he said I’m 35, single, childless and not even dating,” OP wrote. “Still don’t know what I want in life.”
“In response, I told him, ‘yeah, I clearly don’t know what I want, but I know what you want, what you really want, and that’s child-level responsibility and royal-level authority in your family.'” , OP continued. “[I] then I told him I’d rather spend the rest of my days single [than] get stuck with someone like him.”
2018, The Seattle Times published an advice column with the blunt title, “Dealing with a Brother-In-Law Who’s a Bully.”
In response to a reader’s complaints about her cheeky brother-in-law and his many unsavory personality traits, Seattle Times Columnist Carolyn Hax made it clear that no matter how inciting harmful behavior can affect family harmony, failure to address the issue will have severe repercussions later.
“The consequences won’t be fun, but neither is it the kind of quiet — and frankly brave — avoidance you resorted to instead,” Hax wrote. “By sharing what the problem is, you can all decide if and how it will be fixed.”
Lately, news week has reported on multiple Reddit threads describing toxic brother-in-laws and attempts by family members to denounce sexist and misogynist behavior, acknowledge the practice of “armed incompetence,” or simply smack their siblings’ husbands.
In each of these cases, Redditors have staunchly defended these family members and opposed toxic, harmful brother-in-laws. In the case of the original poster and the dining table debacle caused by her brother-in-law, Redditors reacted similarly.
“[Not the a**hole]” wrote Redditor u/jrm1102 in the top comment of the post, which received almost 11,000 votes.
“Sure what you said was a bit rude but I’m sure you bit your tongue long enough and he was clearly a [a**hole] for you,” they continued. “Good for you that you stand up for yourself.”
Redditor u/dark_binniee, whose comment received nearly 3,000 upvotes, offered a similar answer.
“Your [brother-in-law] can definitely serve it up but can’t take it,” they wrote. “If I were you, I would have listed all the things you mentioned that he doesn’t and asked him why you would want a husband like that.”
“He can’t keep making shitty and judgmental comments about your life choices and then… sulking when you return the favor,” added Redditor u/CrystalQueen3000. “Good thing you called his [bulls**t] and put him in his place.”
In a separate comment, which received more than 2,000 votes, Redditor u/Velocityg4 twisted the words of the original poster’s brother-in-law, emphasizing his qualities as a husband.
“[Not the a**hole]”, write. “Sounds like your sister hasn’t found her significant other either.”
news week contacted u/Achievementall for comment.
https://www.newsweek.com/woman-applauded-fiery-response-jab-child-level-brother-law-1711089 Woman applauded for fiery reaction to brother-in-law’s jab at ‘kid level’