Woman blasted for dictating how in-laws can send texts: ‘Your limit’
Online commentators have slammed a woman who told her sister-in-law to “cut it” with her numerous texts because it overwhelms her and she has trouble replying.
The post was shared last month on UK forum Mumsnet under the username Nosulk. The poster said she received a text message from the woman she was good friends with. The woman asked her not to bring up multiple topics during their conversations because she couldn’t keep up.
The poster wrote: “For context, the messages in question were all responses to their day e.g. B. Maybe 5 different messages asking how she was and asking about her [children], and commented on how intense her schedule was. These were literally replies to her messages to me!”
According to Statista, Americans sent around 2 trillion messages in 2021 compared to the peak in 2020 during the COVID-19 pandemic when they sent over 2.2 trillion texts.
The poster told the woman she would try, but she was not satisfied with her response and told her that they had to meet in person because the situation had been going on for too long. The poster suggested they should “pause here” until they find a solution.
She asked, “Why do I feel like I’ve been rejected by my boss?”
In a comment, she added: “I respected her boundary – just said there’s no obligation to reply but I’ll try the same. Said I might make a mistake so we’re probably best leaving our communications [face to face] now – I just don’t know how to do this!!”
Marni Goldman, a certified life coach and author of stay true to myselftold news week that the woman’s message could not have been clearer and that too many texts at once are overwhelming and can lead to sensory overload.
“Why didn’t she say as a friend, ‘I’m so sorry, thanks for bringing this to my attention, I won’t do that again.’ This wasn’t even meant to be a discussion, I feel like it goes a little deeper.
“At the discussion, her response was she would try? Would it be a fight? it’s too expensive!” said Goldmann.
Most of the 327 users who answered Mumsnet’s Bin I Being Unreasonable survey, 61 percent, said the poster was not unreasonable and that the woman was controlling.
One user, NoSquirrels, commented: “Hopefully she’ll tell you personally that she’s just trying to manage symptoms she’s finding difficult; that it’s not you, it’s her. But yeah, I’d be a little crazy / borderline offended about that, message me!”
Changingplace asked: “Were your 5 messages an answer to 5 different things she asked you? If so, how did she expect you to respond? Pick just one thing to respond to?”
On the other hand, Nimbostratus100 said, “She’s trying to tell you that you’re overpowering her and she can’t handle it.”
Another user, WandaWonder, commented: “I would reply to a text later in the day. I’m sure by then you’ll know why you’re not contacting me enough… I don’t understand you, but no, I wouldn’t be offended, that word is used too often.”
Rogue1001MNer added, “Personally, I would only send her emojis from now on.”
Whyisitsososohard wrote: “Yes, I would feel a little weird if someone felt they could control how I communicated with them. It feels bossy. It also feels like she thinks a lot about herself and her needs and doesn’t make you feel guilty.”
Whyisitsososohard continued, “Since she seems to think it’s okay to say whatever she wants, I’d be tempted to get back at her and say her message tone was rude… I’m massive for adjustments and access, though.” that feels very confident – involved.”
news week could not verify the details of the case.
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https://www.newsweek.com/woman-slammed-dictating-how-law-can-send-texts-her-boundary-1788553 Woman blasted for dictating how in-laws can send texts: ‘Your limit’