Internet commentators were quick to defend a wayward woman who turned down her sister – and their three children – in a time of need.
In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITeA**hole, Redditor u/CryptographerFun5948 (aka Original Poster or OP) chronicled the events leading up to her falling out with her sister and detailed the heated aftermath of her Decision to refuse family members desperate for help.
Captioned: “[Am I the a**hole] for not giving my estranged sister a home with her kids while she was on her way to visit our parents?” The post received almost 7,000 upvotes and 1,200 comments in the last day.
“I’ve been estranged from my sister ever since she had an affair with my ex-fiancé,” OP began. “I told her to consider herself a sister and [that] I never wanted to see her again.”
OP went on to explain that her sister married her ex-fiancé and had several children with him, and said her ex was recently arrested, leaving his wife and children homeless.
OP added that when her sister and children made the journey back to her parents’ house to move in with them, she was asked to be heavily involved.
“My sister [lived] three states from our parents and apparently I’m in the thick of it,” the OP wrote. “She called our aunt to say she couldn’t find an apartment that she could afford overnight, so [our] Aunt gave her my address.
“She showed up [and] I closed the door…I refused to let her stay,” OP continued.
“[My parents] I hated that my sister’s kids were upset…they just wished I could have found a way to love their kids,” OP added. To siblings, she has told how angry she is that I didn’t give her kids a place to stay have. And she apparently called me a heartless bitch.”
Tensions between family members leading to conflicts or temporary breakdowns in communication are sometimes to be expected.
Total estrangement from a family member is a whole different story.
Alienation occurs when one or more family members distance themselves from each other due to long-standing, negative relationships psychology today.
Alienation is often the result of abuse, betrayal, unaddressed mental illness, or substance abuse and can be devastating for certain family members. But for other family members, that distance is necessary for healing and growth.
“When you’ve exhausted all avenues of civilian communications and feel hopeless about how to get better, a break may be needed,” he said. psychology today says. “That doesn’t mean the break has to be permanent. Less contact may mean better contact in the future.”
Even though psychology todayVery good Family and other mental health resources advise estranged family members to be open to reconciliation, individuals like the original poster are not interested, and with good reason.
In the comments section of the viral Reddit post, Redditors assured OP that she was entitled to leave her sister on her doorstep and slammed the relatives, who called OP “heartless” for doing so.
“Oh no,” wrote Redditor u/RedditDK2 in the top comment of the post, which received more than 11,000 upvotes. “Your sister, who is such an upstanding person that she slept with your fiancé, thinks you’re a bad person.
“Who cares what she thinks?” they added. “[Not the a**hole].”
Redditor u/panic_bread, whose comment received almost 3,000 upvotes, echoed this opinion.
“Of course [not the a**hole]”, write. “Your sister seems to make terrible decisions all the time.
“Marrying your ex, leaving home in a hurry, having three kids and no money to spend the night,” they continued. “None of this is your problem, is it [responsibility].”
In a separate comment that received more than 1,200 upvotes, Redditor u/MystifiedByPeople also sided with the original poster and targeted her aunt for encouraging her sister to appear unannounced.
“Your aunt was one [a**hole] for sending your estranged sister to your doorstep without warning,” they wrote. “Expecting you to just open your house to her with no explanation was amazingly clueless.
“And frankly, after a last-minute statement, I completely understand that you’re sticking to your guns,” they added. “The aunt always had the opportunity to buy her a hotel room.”
news week contacted u/CryptographerFun5948 for a comment.
https://www.newsweek.com/woman-defended-denying-estranged-sister-kids-housing-heartless-1739604 Woman defends for refusing housing to an estranged sister and children: ‘Heartless’