Woman “eviscerated” by partner attending wedding abroad without sharing her views

A woman furious over her partner attending a wedding without her has opinions divided online.

Posting on Mumsnets Am I being unreasonable? (AIBU) forum on Sept. 29, user ivegotthisyeah stated that she could not afford to attend the overseas ceremony but assumed her “better off” partner would pay for her.

Some users felt it was appropriate for their partner to foot the bill, while others blew up the poster for a “legitimate” act.

A groom holds hands with the bride
A stock photo of a groom holding a bride’s hand as they walk together. Mumsnet users were divided over whether a woman’s longtime boyfriend should pay for her to attend his boyfriend’s wedding abroad.
Ekaterina Pichukova/iStock/Getty Images Plus

Attending a wedding costs guests $800

A recent study by Amazon Handmade estimates that guests will spend an average of $800 to attend a wedding next year.

In a survey of 1,000 wedding guests, researchers found that people expected to spend an average of $123 on lodging and $106 on travel. Guests planned to spend $115 on their outfit and $86 on hair and makeup, as well as $115 on gifts and $102 on the bachelor or bachelorette party. Combined with food ($93) and alcohol ($96), the average total cost for guests is $838.08.

To prevent couples from finding themselves in difficult financial situations like the poster’s, relationship therapist Gill Booth recommends discussing plans as soon as possible.

“Talk to each other about the event if the invite goes through,” she said news week.

“It’s a lot easier to sort out sooner rather than later issues like the cost of attending and how things can be paid for.

“It’s about communication, communication, communication.”

‘Why should he pay?’

In her post, ivegotthisyeah said she has been with her boyfriend for almost two years but they are not currently living together and keep their finances separate.

She said her boyfriend has a good job and makes more money than her. He also has no mortgage or “obligations to pay,” while she has a mortgage, has children, and is surviving on a small income.

“If you were invited to a wedding abroad and you couldn’t afford it but your partner could, would you be upset if he booked it without you?” she asked.

“One has no money problems, no mortgage, a good job. The other has a mortgage, a much lower income and fewer obligations to pay. Would you expect the partner to pay for the other? It’s the wedding of the better off’s friend.

“I guess I’m just disappointed and my kids are gone at the same time (with their own dad). It’s a rare opportunity where nothing is stopping me but finances.”

Mumsnet users were divided over whether one partner should pay for the other to attend a wedding, with TwoWrightFeet calling the poster a “gold digger.”

“I am the higher earner and would definitely not pay [husband] going to my buddy’s wedding,” Brieeeeeeee commented.

However, other users empathized with the poster, with some suggesting a lack of engagement on the part of their boyfriend.

“I think it’s a bit off if you [partner] didn’t even consider helping financially,” IckyPop said.

“Is OP [original poster] to think that she sees a future together and wants to be seen as his partner and he… doesn’t seem to see it that way,” FinalHere wondered.

SkyeHeather commented: “What’s the plan if you guys move in together?

“Are you going to pool your finances or is he going to move on and enjoy himself without you because you can’t afford your half?

“I would question the whole future of this relationship myself.”

news week was unable to verify the details of this story.

Do you have a similar monetary dilemma? Let us know at life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

https://www.newsweek.com/woman-gutted-partner-attending-wedding-abroad-without-splits-views-1747859 Woman “eviscerated” by partner attending wedding abroad without sharing her views

Rick Schindler

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