Woman supporting uninviting Thanksgiving ‘picky’ mother-in-law online
Members of a popular internet forum rallied behind a woman who kicked her mother-in-law out of Thanksgiving for what seemed an obvious sign of disrespect.
In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITeA******, Redditor u/TnksgvngThrowaway567 (aka Original Poster or OP) said she would invite her family to dinner and revealed why this year’s celebration would miss a person from years past.
Captioned: “[Am I the a******] for not inviting my MIL to Thanksgiving because she refuses to eat my cooking?” the post has been running since March 23.
“This year I have [hosted] Thanksgiving at my house,” OP began. “I’ve been working all month creating the menu and testing all my recipes.”
The original poster went on to explain that her husband supported her throughout the preparation process. Just days before Thanksgiving, she was told that her mother-in-law would be bringing her own dinner to the family celebration.
The original poster also said that despite her husband’s many arguments on behalf of his mother, she was furious at the idea of a guest turning his nose up at anything she had prepared.
“My husband dropped the bombshell on me that he was his [mother] wants to bring her own dinner when she comes over,” the OP wrote. “I asked him why…[and] He just apologized and said I know his mom is a grade A picky eater and she doesn’t “like” anything.
“He argued that bringing her own dinner would be a good compromise, and I disagree,” OP continued. “It [would] It’s very obvious that she’s commenting on my cooking and it would be humiliating if she ate something completely different there… it’s like she’s trying to make it clear that my cooking isn’t good enough.
“I told him if she can’t eat here, she’s welcome to stay home and eat whatever she wants,” OP added. “I don’t need the negativity of someone who rejects everything I’ve cooked and insults my kitchen when I’ve worked so hard.”
Even though Thanksgiving is over, there are leftovers in refrigerators and bad blood caused by tense family gatherings.
Despite the emphasis on gratitude and time spent together, holidays like Thanksgiving can be quite contentious for families. And while food can foster bonds between loved ones, hierarchy issues among family members can quickly lead to scrutiny and harsh judgment.
“The holidays are a very special time of year and give us an opportunity to lead with kindness,” Dr. Carla Manly, psychotherapist and author of joy out of fearsaid news week. “[But] When it comes to vacations and cooking, it’s easy for some people to adopt a critical or judgmental mindset.”
Much like a stranger entering a western saloon, new family chefs are often faced with the coolness of established chefs, who are careful to ensure that a perceived outsider does not encroach on tradition.
That attitude can make for awkward holiday gatherings, and when that disapproval is on full display, Manly said news week, the intended purpose of coming together to celebrate is effectively frustrated.
“If a relative insists on bringing ‘good’ food to show their superiority, perhaps it would be much better just to enjoy the really good food that the host prepares and serves,” Manly said.
“Given that the holidays are all about focusing on love, joy and gratitude, our energy is much better spent embracing kindness, appreciation and acceptance,” she added.
Throughout the comments section of the viral Reddit post, many Redditors echoed this sentiment, encouraging the original poster to focus on those who like their cooking rather than those who don’t.
“Yes yours [mother-in-law] is rude and disrespectful,” wrote Redditor u/pinetree8000 in the top comment of the post, which received more than 18,000 upvotes. “Here’s what you do… kill them with kindness.
“You and your other guests can enjoy your fabulous food and yours [mother-in-law] can hear all the compliments you get for it,” they added.
Redditor u/ithinkerno, whose comment received more than 8,000 upvotes, offered a similar answer.
“It’s one of those situations where the [mother-in-law] thinks she’s embarrassed by the surgery but she’s really embarrassed about herself,” they wrote.
“Your [mother-in-law] Eating your own food won’t be humiliating for you… the only one looked down on for your decision is you,” chipped in Redditor u/EwokCafe, receiving more than 2,500 upvotes.
“She’s the one acting weird, all judgment is going to be on her, not you,” they added.
news week contacted u/TnksgvngThrowaway567 for comment. We have not been able to verify the details of the case.
If you have a similar family issue, let us know at email@example.com. We can ask experts for advice and your story could be featured there news week.
https://www.newsweek.com/wife-uninviting-picky-eater-mother-law-thanksgiving-backed-online-1762444 Woman supporting uninviting Thanksgiving ‘picky’ mother-in-law online